Moments of Pain

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A week had passed since Miyuki’s treatment, but as Sari held her daughter’s hand in the hospital once more, dread gnawed at her heart.

The symptoms had returned, and with each labored breath Miyuki took, Sari felt a deeper sense of hopelessness creeping in.

The sterile walls of the hospital seemed to close in around her, amplifying the anxiety that coursed through her veins.

They had just finished another round of tests, and Sari’s mind raced with thoughts of what the results might reveal. The waiting felt like an eternity, the minutes stretching into an agonizing blur.

Finally, the doctor entered, and Sari’s stomach dropped at the look on his face. The warm professionalism he usually displayed was replaced by an overwhelming gravity. Sari felt her heart race, her hands shaking as she clutched Miyuki’s small fingers.

“Ms. Sarina Alvarez,” the doctor began, his voice steady but filled with sorrow. “We’ve completed the tests, and I need to talk to you about the results.”

Sari’s breath caught in her throat, and she nodded, bracing herself for the worst. “Ano po 'yun Doc?”

The doctor took a deep breath, and Sari’s heart pounded in her chest. “I’m so sorry to tell you this, but the leukemia has progressed. We’ve done everything we can, but her case is extremely serious.”

The words hung in the air, heavy and suffocating. Sari felt the world tilt beneath her, and she struggled to process the devastating news.

Her eyes widened in disbelief as tears spilled over, blurring her vision. “No… no, please,” she choked out, shaking her head as if denying the reality would change it. “Huwag niyo pong sabihin iyan! gagaling ang anak ko diba Doc? gagaling si Yuki!”

The doctor’s expression softened, but he remained firm. “I understand this is incredibly difficult. We will continue to provide comfort care, but at this point, we have to be realistic about her prognosis. I can’t imagine the pain you’re feeling. I'm sorry Ms. Alvarez”

Sari felt as if the floor had fallen out from under her. She wanted to scream, to fight against this injustice, but all that came out was a broken sob.

She looked down at Miyuki, who had fallen asleep, blissfully unaware of the storm raging around them. The thought of losing her daughter, of not being able to hold her and watch her grow, shattered Sari’s heart into a million pieces.

Feeling utterly helpless, she whispered to herself, “Hindi ko kaya… I can’t lose her.” Each word was punctuated with grief, as if saying it would somehow make it untrue.

As the doctor left the room, Sari sank into a chair beside Miyuki’s bed, the weight of despair crushing her spirit.

She grasped her daughter’s hand tighter, wishing for a miracle that felt increasingly out of reach. In that moment, all she could do was cry for the future she feared would never come.

Sari’s parents arrived at the hospital, their faces etched with concern as they rushed to her side.

They had sensed something was wrong, and the atmosphere in the hospital only deepened their fears. Sari could see the worry in their eyes as they approached, her mother immediately pulling her into a tight embrace.

“Anak, kamusta ang apo namin. Yung result anak?” her mom asked, her voice thick with anxiety.

Sari took a deep breath, her heart heavy as she prepared to share the devastating news.

“The treatment… it didn’t work. Mas lumala ang sakit niya. The doctor just told me that…” Sari’s voice trembled, breaking as the words spilled out.

Her parents stood frozen for a moment, processing the information. Shock washed over their faces, and Sari could see the pain reflected in their eyes.

Her mother’s hands flew to her mouth, stifling a gasp as tears filled her eyes. “No… no, this can’t be happening,” she whispered, her voice quavering.

Sari’s father clenched his jaw, emotion welling up as he fought against the tears that threatened to spill. “Hindi magandang balita yan! baka may magawa pa tayo anak” he asked, desperation seeping into his tone.

Sari shook her head, feeling utterly helpless. “Huli na ang lahat. They’ve done everything possible, but… it’s too late.” As she spoke, her voice broke, and she felt the weight of despair crash over her again.

Her mother collapsed into a chair beside Miyuki’s bed, tears streaming down her cheeks. “My baby… how can this be? She’s so young,” she sobbed, grief consuming her. Sari’s father sat beside her, wrapping his arms around her, both of them unable to contain their heartbreak.

Sari watched as her parents broke down, the sound of their sobs intertwining with her own.

In that moment, she felt the sheer weight of their collective sorrow, and the three of them shared a devastating silence, surrounded by the beeping machines and the sterile smell of the hospital.

All they could do was cry, their hearts aching for Miyuki and the future they all feared they would lose.

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