Kaylee Jaymie Halstead

Dad's Birthday Part 1

Jay pov
Kaylee: WAKE UP GRANDPA!
Jay: Jesus Christ Kaylee! Seriously?
Kaylee: Just making sure you're still alive old man
Jay: you're 14 not 4. No more jumping on your aging father
Hailey groaned annoyed
Hailey: Kay do you have to jump on him every birthday?
Kaylee: Gotta keep him on his toes.
Jay: why are you up so early?
Kaylee: I was wrapping presents and then I wanted breakfast and then I got distracted by TikTok. There's this page about random facts and it's so cool. They had loads about octopuses and how they have 3 hearts and I thought that–
Hailey: Kaylee breathe
Kaylees always like this. Talking at like a million mph
Jay: this is how I start 31 ey?
Kaylee: mhm and it only gets worse. You know this is the year that your metabolism starts to slow down right? Uncle Will says this is when the dad bod really starts setting in. Oh yeah did you know testosterone starts dropping after 30? That means—
I threw a pillow at her.
Jay: STOP GOOGLING THINGS
Kaylee: I love science
Hailey: I dunno babe. She has a point
Jay: You're pregnant with my child. Clearly everything's working just fine
Kaylee fake gagged
Kaylee: I hate that I have to hear this
Hailey: You started it
Kaylee: Can you get out of bed and make me breakfast? I'm starving. You never feed me
Jay: can I at least pee first?
Kaylee: urgh fine but be quick
Jay: stop being dramatic
Kaylee: I'm gonna set up downstairs
Jay: can you go take your meds first please?
She jumped up ran out the room.
I groaned dropping back against the pillows. Hailey was laid on my chest
Hailey: She definitely got your inability to sit still
Jay: yeah and she's picked up on your bossiness.
Hailey: you love my bossiness
She was nipping at my ear and her hand was tracing my abs
I smirked and pulled her on top
Jay: I do have a few ideas of how we could start my birthday
Hailey: is that so? I like where this is going
Kaylee: DAD! HURRY UP!
Hailey rolled off and laid beside me
Jay: and just like that the moment is gone
Hailey: better get used to it babe. We've got another one on the way
I just laughed
Jay; I hate our child
Hailey: No you love her

Kaylee pov
Dad was taking forever. I had been awake since 5:30 a.m. and I was ready to start the day and he was moving at the speed of an elderly tortoise. Hailey walked into the kitchen
Hailey: he's in the shower. What do you want for breakfast?
Kaylee: eggs and bacon
Hailey: extra crispy
Kaylee: mhm
Hailey: you taken your meds?
Kaylee: I forgot
Hailey: take them now please
I went and took them.
Kaylee: you know if the baby gets your energy levels instead of mine I'm gonna be really disappointed. He's gonna be my twin
Hailey: one of you is enough
Kaylee: I don't know whether to be offended
Hailey passed me my plate and we sat down eating
Hailey: right so today: shower, get ready, presents, shooting range, lunch, arcade, party. Sounds good?
Kaylee: mhm can I shoot?
Hailey: no chance
Kaylee: urgh you're so boring
We ate breakfast and I went up and got in the shower. I got dressed into my grey essentials tracksuit and I threw my grey dunks down the stairs
Dad: Jesus fucking Christ Kaylee! Can you not? Just nearly gave me a heart attack
Kaylee: that's you're old age
I went downstairs
Kaylee: can you do my hair please?
Dad: go get your hair stuff
I went and got it and gave it to dad
Dad: so what are we doing?
Kaylee: 2 braids please
He started doing the braids and within half an hour he finished
Kaylee: I think that's the quickest
Dad: well you actually sat still
Hailey came downstairs.

Will walked in heading straight for the fridge and pulling out a beer.
Kaylee: it's 10am
Will: It's five o'clock somewhere
Kaylee: That's literally what alcoholics say.
Will: I need this. Your dad is officially a senior citizen.
Dad: hey!
Will: Morning birthday boy. 31 huh?
Kaylee: Ooh! I saw a TikTok that said after 30 you start shrinking. Uncle Will is that true?
Will: I am deeply offended that you'd think I'd know the answer to that
Kaylee: you're like 40
Will: I'm 35
Kaylee: yeah like I said you're like 40
Dad and hailey started laughing
Will: I don't know why you're laughing? I mean you are getting old. Maybe it's time to invest in a Life Alert button
Kaylee: YES! 'Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!
Dad: I hate you two
Kaylee:  Aww but you love us
Will: At least you still remember who we are. For now
Kaylee: Ooh! How long before he starts peeing when he sneezes?
Hailey lost it bending over with laughter. Dad pointed at her.
Dad: DON'T ENCOURAGE THIS
Kaylee: We should probably baby-proof the house for you now
Will: Yeah get some grab bars in the shower
Hailey: And a shower chair
Dad: I need stronger coffee
Will: Nah, man, you need Viagra
I grabbed a spoon and threw it at Will
Kaylee: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!
Will: What? I'm just preparing him for the future!
Hailey: I swear to God, I love this family
Kaylee: who's coming later?
Will: your dad
Dad: Will! Seriously?!
Kaylee: you're fucking disgusting
He started laughing
Kaylee: who's turning up to the party?
Hailey: kelly, Connor, Justin, the kids, everyone from med, intelligence and firehouse 51
Kaylee: cool. Freddie?
Hailey: yeah
Kaylee: We're gonna cause chaos!
Dad: Well I'm hoping the chaos is the fun kind of chaos and not the 'we broke everything' kind
Kaylee: I make no promises

Jay pov
Kaylee: can we do presents now?
Jay: sure
She ran out the room
Will: she seems very hyper today
Jay: yep. It's worse cause she's excited
Will: any news from Daniel about the assessment?
Jay: the school seem to be taking their time.
Will: the longer this goes on the longer she's gonna struggle and the worse she's gonna get
Jay: I know. I'll sort it
She ran back down with a big bag
Kaylee: here
Jay: thanks peach
I opened them and the last one was a photo book with loads of pictures of us and the whole family
He gave me a hug
Jay: thanks kiddo
We got ready to leave. We arrived at the shooting range. Kaylee wasn't old enough to shoot yet but she insisted on coming to "observe." Which mostly meant she spent the entire time asking a million questions like:
• "Which gun is the sexiest?"
• "Would I be a hot FBI agent?"
• "How long until I can legally carry a gun and become a menace?"

Then we went to the arcade where she humiliated us at air hockey.
Kaylee: I thought you were supposed to have elite reflexes detective
Jay: I let you win
Kaylee: sure grandpa

We went back home and started setting up for the party. Everyone started arriving and Kaylee was already causing chaos.
Kaylee: Dad tell Freddie that he's a dumbass! He's pissing me off.
The door went and it was Adam. He was grinning with a large paper bag in his hand
Jay: what have you done?
Adam: Did someone say 'fun'? I brought brownies
Adam walked in. Hailey's face immediately dropped.
Hailey: Adam. Please tell me they're not...
Adam: Oh they are. Special brownies. You know just in case anyone needs a little extra... relaxation today
Hailey: I swear Adam I will kill you. I'm pregnant. I can't be around that stuff
Jay: Wait, they're... what? Are you out of your mind?
Adam. I'm just here for the laughs. Relax. They're for later. I'm keeping them hidden.
Hailey: Oh no. You'd better keep them away from Kaylee and Freddie. They don't need any extra excitement
Adam went and put them in the kitchen.
Kaylee: Dad can me and Freddie have some of the brownies? Kev said Adam made some
Jay: No! Keep him away from that stuff!