Kaylee Jaymie Halstead

Partners in Crime (Almost) Part 2

Kaylee pov
I woke up to a pounding headache and i get weird but i couldn't tell if it was seizure weird or just weird. I knew I'd screwed up last night. Big time. And now i had to face the aftermath. The house was eerily quiet when I stepped out of my room and headed downstairs. I half-expected dad to be pacing the kitchen, coffee in hand, ready to launch into another lecture. Instead, he was sitting at the table, staring blankly at his laptop. He looked exhausted. Exhausted because of me. I just stood in the doorway awkwardly
Kaylee: Morning
Dad: Morning
He didn't look up. Okay. That was bad. Hailey, who was at the counter making coffee, gave me a quick glance before returning to what she was doing. The tension in the room was thick enough to choke on. I sighed and sat across from dad, tapping my fingers against the table
Kaylee: Look... I know I messed up
He finally looked up, his expression unreadable. Dad: You think?
Kaylee: I mean... yeah
Dad: Kaylee I don't even know where to start with you right now. You know how dangerous last night was. You knew it was a bad idea and you still did it
Kaylee: I didn't think—
Dad: Exactly! You didn't think and that's the problem! You just— I don't know how to get through to you Kaylee. I don't know what to say that'll actually stick
Hailey leaned against the counter, arms crossed. Hailey: We're not trying to be the bad guys here. We just... we need you to understand how serious this is
Kaylee: I do understand
Dad: Then why do you keep making these kinds of choices?
I clenched my fists in my lap
Kaylee: I don't know! I just—sometimes my brain doesn't stop to think! I don't mean to screw up but it just happens! And then I feel like crap after but it's already too late and—
Dad's xpression softened. Hailey's arms uncrossed slightly.
Kaylee: I don't wanna be like this. I hate feeling like this
Dad. Kaylee...
Kaylee: I try to be good. I try to make the right choices but my brain just won't shut up and then it's like—like I'm watching myself do dumb things, but I can't stop it
Dad stood and walked around the table crouching in front of me.
Dad: I know, kid
He placed a hand on my knee.
Dad: I know it's hard for you
Kaylee: I just don't want you to be mad at me
Dad: I'm not mad, Kaylee. I'm worried
Dad: We're gonna figure this out okay? You're not in this alone
Hailey set a cup of hot chocolate in front of me and ruffled my hair
Hailey: We love you, Kay. But you gotta meet us halfway here
Kaylee: okay
Dad: Good. Now drink your hot chocolate. We'll figure out the rest later.
I finished my hot chocolate then went up to my room. I jumped in the shower and just put on a new set of pyjamas which was a pair of sweats and Kelly's cfd hoodie.

I spent most of the afternoon curled up on the couch, zoning out to whatever Netflix had autoplayed. Dad had been in and out of the living room checking on me without making it too obvious and Hailey had been doing paperwork at the kitchen table. Dad came and sat beside me dad: We need to talk about what happens next
Kaylee: Next?
Hailey: We can't just ignore what happened, Kay. You've been struggling with impulse control for a while and it's getting worse. We need a game plan
Hailey sat down on the other side of me. I got up and laid out on the floor
Kaylee: You mean like... therapy?
Dad: Yeah. Dr. Charles already wanted to follow up about the ADHD but after last night I want to move forward with more support. You need it peach
I felt my stomach tighten. I knew they were right, but the idea of going to therapy again made me uneasy.
Kaylee: I dunno
Dad: Kaylee, I'm not giving you a choice on this one. I should've pushed for it sooner and that's on me but I'm not letting you keep spiraling like this
Kaylee: I just... I don't want people thinking I'm broken
Dad: You're not broken Kaylee
Hailey: Therapy isn't about 'fixing' you. It's about giving you the tools to understand yourself better. To help you
Kaylee: I guess
Dad: There's more
Kaylee: more?
Dad: Dr. Charles also recommended looking into medication for ADHD
Kaylee: I don't want more meds
Dad: I figured you'd say that
Kaylee: I don't like the way my seizure meds make me feel. What if ADHD meds just make it worse?
Hailey: That's something we'd talk to Dr. Charles about. There are options, Kay. No one's gonna force you to take something that makes you feel bad. But if it helps...

Jay pov
She slumped in her chair
Kaylee: I don't want ADHD
Jay: I know, kid. But pretending it doesn't exist isn't gonna help you
Jay: You don't have to figure it all out today. But we are gonna figure it out
Hailey: Good. Now, let's talk about how we're gonna keep you from sneaking off with Carl again
Kaylee: Oh, come on—
Jay: Oh, you thought we were letting that go?
Kaylee buried her face in her hands, already regretting everything.
Jay: he's trouble Kaylee. I know he's your brother and everything but keep him at arms length.
Kaylee: whatever
Kaylee went upstairs. Me and hailey were cuddled on the couch
Hailey: she's gonna be okay
Jay: I feel like we're failing her
Hailey: we're doing everything we can for her and she knows it.
Jay: this is all my fault
Hailey: what do you mean?
Jay: the epilepsy, the adhd she got that from me. She's suffering because of me.
Hailey: this isn't your fault Jay. It doesn't work like that. Sure it increases her risk but you didn't give it to her
Jay: What if the same happens with the baby?
Hailey: then we'll work through it
Jay: you wanna watch prison break?
Hailey: sure

The day dragged on like a heavy weight. Kaylee hadn't come back down. Hailey fell asleep on the couch so I went up to check on Kaylee. I knocked on the door
Jay: Peach can I come in?
Kaylee: mhm
I walked in and sat on the edge of her bed.
Jay: you okay?
She didn't say anything
Jay: I'm sorry Kaylee.
Kaylee: what?
Jay: I should've been more patient. I shouldn't have waited until things got this bad before trying to get you the help you need. I wasn't the dad you needed me to be. I should've pushed harder, should've noticed sooner that things were spiraling.
Kaylee: It's not your fault. You're doing the best you can
Jay: You're doing the best you can too but sometimes our best isn't enough when we're in over our heads. And that's why we need to ask for help.
She finally turned to me, tears welling in her eyes.
Kaylee: I'm so tired Dad. I'm tired of not getting it right, of messing everything up, of feeling like I'm constantly failing. And every time I try to do something right I screw it up
I reached out to pull her into a tight hug.
Jay: Kaylee...
Kaylee: I don't want to be different. I don't want to be the one everyone has to fix.
Jay: You're not something that needs to be fixed Kaylee. You're you and you're going through a tough time right now. But that doesn't make you broken. It makes you human. We all have our battles and this one just happens to be yours
Kaylee: It's just so hard. I don't even know how to explain it. Like, one minute I'm fine, and then the next, I don't even know what's going on. And then I screw up and it feels like I'm just falling and I can't catch myself
Jay: I get it peach. But that's why we're going to work through this together. We'll take it one step at a time. You won't be alone
Kaylee nodded slowly. She pulled away from the hug, wiping her eyes.
Kaylee: I'm scared, Dad
Jay: I know but it's okay to be scared. It's okay to not have all the answers right now. But we'll figure it out together. That's what family does.
As i stood up and moved to the door, i turned back to her
Jay: How about you take a break from all the heavy thinking? Let's get some takeout and watch a movie. No therapy talk. Just a night to relax.
Kaylee chuckled softly, a small smile tugging at her lips.
Kaylee: You're buying?
Jay: Of course. It's the least I can do after all of this
Kaylee's smile widened just a little
Kaylee: Okay. Deal

Later that night we sat together on the couch, the sound of a random movie playing in the background. Kaylee had picked a comedy which was her go to when she needed to keep her mind off things. Hailey had gone to bed early, and I was sprawled on the other side of the couch, eating takeout with a bottle of beer in hand. Kaylee was barely touching her own food, picking at it more out of habit than hunger.
Jay: you not hungry?
Kaylee: I dunno. I was but now not so much
Jay: that's okay.