Kaylee Jaymie Halstead

Memorial Day

TW: Mentions of Self Harm & Suicide

I knew today was gonna be a tough day for dad. It always is. None of slept last night because dad was having a bad night with his nightmares. This always happens on military holidays. He slept in the guest bedroom because he can become violent in his nightmares so he didn't wanna hurt hailey.
I was on FaceTime with Zach all night crying because l couldn't help dad and he was really struggling. It got really bad to the point hailey had to call Hank and Will.

It was now the morning and I was still on FaceTime. Zach had fallen asleep so i was just watching greys anatomy. I heard movement downstairs so I went down
Hailey: morning kiddo
Kaylee: morning. Is dad okay?
Hailey: you heard it all?
Kaylee: mhm but I stayed in my room like you always told me to
Hailey: he's okay. He's asleep with Will. Have you slept?
Kaylee: not really
Hailey: right take your meds and you're gonna lay with me until you fall asleep
Kaylee: I'm fine
Hailey: you know no sleep triggers your seizures and you've been having good days
Kaylee: I know. I just couldn't sleep. Hearing dad like that made me anxious. I didn't want him to hurt himself like last time. I couldn't sleep in case something happened
Hailey: but now you know he's fine
Kaylee: I guess
I went and took my meds
Kaylee: can we watch greys?
We sat on the couch and I put a pillow on Haileys lap and laid down.

Hailey pov
We were half way through the episode when I felt Kaylees breathing even out. I rung will
Will: hailey I'm upstairs
Hailey: I can't move. Kaylee fell asleep on me. Can you come down and keep an eye on her? I need a wee
Will: yeah gimme a minute
Will came downstairs and I went to the toilet. After I went I checked in on Jay. I walked into the guest bedroom and he was still asleep. He looked so drained
Will: Hailey!
I went back downstairs and Kaylee was seizing. I knew this was gonna happened at some point today
Hailey: it's cause she hasn't slept
Will: because of Jay?
Hailey: mhm. She didn't sleep in case something happened
Will: we were so focused on Jay we didn't check in with her
Hailey: I know. How long?
Will: we're coming up to 3
Hailey: it doesn't seem to be slowing down
Will: we've still got about 2 minutes before we have to do something

After about another minute the shaking settled to twitching before stopping completely. There was a thud upstate
Will: I'll go check on Jay
Will went upstairs and Kaylee started to come around
Kaylee: mom?
Hailey: hey kiddo
Kaylee: head hurts
Hailey: I know. How bout you try go back to sleep?
Kaylee: mhm
She eventually fell back asleep and Kim rang me
Kim: Hey
Hailey: hi
Kim: how are you?
Hailey: I'm alright.
Kim: how is everyone?
Hailey: Jays having a tough time with his PTSD and Kaylee just had a seizure
Kim: I miss you. I have no one to hang up on Adam with
Hailey: well Hank said I can come back but only desk duty
Kim: you gonna come back?
Hailey: yeah
The door went
Hailey: Kim I gotta go
Kim: No worries I'll see you later
Hailey: alright bye
Call ended
Hailey: Come in!

The door opened and in was Justin and Hank.
Justin: hey
Hailey: hi
Justin: you look like shit
Hailey: ah thanks Justin
Hank: seizure?
Hailey: yep. She didn't sleep at all last night
Hank: oh. How is Jay?
Hailey: Will is still upstairs with him. He'll probably be there all day

Will came downstairs
Hank: hey kiddo
Will: hey dad
Hailey: he okay?
Will: he had a seizure but it didn't last long
Hank: fuck sake
Kaylee: too loud
Hank: sorry kiddo. How you feeling?
Kaylee: fine. Is dad okay?
Will: yeah he's just sleeping
There were footsteps and Jay walked in. He was already dressed
Hailey: babe you okay?
He grabbed his keys and left the house.
Will: he's not in a state to drive
Hank: I know. I'm gonna follow him
Kaylee: I'm coming
Hank: no you're not
Kaylee: I wasn't asking
Hank looked at me and I nodded

Kaylee pov
I gave hailey a hug
Hailey: be careful okay?
Kaylee: I will. Everything will be fine.
Me and Hank went out to the car
Kaylee: do you think he'll be okay?
Hank: yeah it's just a tough time for him. It always is
Kaylee: yeah but what if it's more?
Hank: what do you mean?
Kaylee: it's nothing nevermind
Hank: is there something you want to tell me?
Kaylee: no
Hank: Kaylee
Kaylee: if I tell you, you can't tell hailey.
Hank: what is it Kaylee?
Kaylee: he stopped taking his meds
Hank: what the sleeping ones?
Kaylee: all of them. He promised me he was fine and he said Daniel told him he didn't need them anymore
Hank: lemme guess you asked Daniel?
Kaylee: mhm and Daniel said that he upped them
Hank: we'll get him back on them
Kaylee: he's been acting weird
Hank: in what way?
Kaylee: he's just different and I think he's been hurting himself again
Hank: what makes you think that?
Kaylee: he's always wearing his t shirt. When he's home he rarely wears a t shirt. It's like he's back the way he was after Brandon died. I'm worried about him

We followed him to a house and some guy came out and got in the car. Dad started driving again so we followed him. After a while he stopped at a cemetery and they both got out the car
Hank: let's give him some space
Half an hour went by and I was getting really restless and uncomfortable
Kaylee: grandpa I need to move
Hank: come on then
We got out the car and I was running up and down the road and Hank was stood by the car. I was running when I crashed into someone
??: what the hell Kaylee
I looked up and it was dad
Kaylee: sorry dad
???: dad?
Kaylee: what's it to you?
Dad: don't be rude. What are you doing here?
Kaylee: you just walked off without saying anything.
Dad: you didn't have to follow me. Don't I get my own privacy! Why can you never leave me alone! Why are you all always watching my every move?! Fuck off and leave me alone!
Hank: Jay! That's enough!
Kaylee: oh sorry for caring about you. You haven't been taking your meds and after the state you was in last night I was scared. Scared you might do something stupid. Scared I would lose you
Dad: Kaylee
Kaylee: Maybe I care too much. You know what do what you want! I don't care any more. You wanna be left alone fine. If you do what I think you're gonna do just know I will never forgive you and you won't only be leaving me and hailey but you'll be leaving the baby, Daisy, Owen, Jax, everyone.
???: alright that's enough
Kaylee: I don't know who you are but mind your fucking business I'm not talking to you. Dad think about when the kids come round and you're not there and they're asking us where you are. The adults will lie to them but I'll tell them the truth. I'll tell them that you did the most selfish thing a person can do. We weren't worth living for. We weren't worth pushing through the dark times and getting help. I can't lose you dad but I'm worried that we're not worth fighting for anymore

I walked off and got into the car and Hank went over to dad. They were talking for a while and dad started crying. The other guy took dad to the car and Hank came back. I could feel Hank looking at me and I just broke down crying. He pulled me into a hug