14 Years [GNR/Mötley Crüe]

81. Ouroboros

Nadia:

Izzy bailed on me, nothing surprising about that, especially after what happened yesterday evening. He was a man who was actually putting in some effort to get his shit together, someone who wanted to be better and could be better without needing someone else to hold his hand through that process. He knew that either he get his shit together or wound up dead somewhere. He quit the band he founded, arguably one of the biggest bands in the world right now, why? Because he knew it was dragging him down.

He knows where to draw boundaries and how to not let others break those boundaries and drag him down to purgatory. So, it was completely understandable for me when he said he had somewhere else to be and couldn't hang out today.

I wasn't really sure where to go, but I sure as hell didn't wanna sit holed up in my hotel room like my first day in Madrid. Madrid was fun and good for me cos' I did things I normally would not. I tried doing things that were outside of my comfort zone.

I briefly considered going to Montjuïc and taking the cable car there. It could be fun, but then I remembered the boat party. On my first night here, Izzy and I came across a few tourists from Berlin at the Bunkers. They surprisingly didn't recognize him and thought we were a couple, weird, and invited us for drinks. He obviously turned it down while I went with them.

Of course, I didn't get shit faced, but I had fun going to this club called Otto Zutz, it had a chaotic industrial edge to it and had three floors playing three different genres. It wasn't exactly a tourist spot, but my 'friends' from Berlin had friends who were locals, and combined, we were a group of 8 people. If my 25-year-old self ever heard that at 31 I was going on solo trips to Europe and having fun with strangers and getting along with them, she might lose her mind!

But hey, according to my 25-year-old self, dating the guy who was putting you down every single day and made your life miserable and even burned a lot of your hair was completely normal; that was love.

Idiot!

I didn't wanna think about Nikki or Tommy or any of their shenanigans that involved stalking me across the world and calling every hotel in Barcelona till they found the one where I was staying. I had nothing to speak to either of them, especially Nikki!

He had a girlfriend waiting back home in LA, and he flew all the way here to tell me he hadn't moved on, bullshit! It has been one year and 4 months since we broke up, and now is when he wants me back? I worked way too hard to get over him, burying myself in work, billing over 3000 hours last year. Sure, I made partner, but this was the time, money, and effort I wanted to spend for myself, and I wasn't going to let him ruin my trip.

Growing up, I was a kid who rarely went to the pool or beach cos' it felt weird being in a bathing suit, and I carried that trait into adulthood. I would wear it and lounge by a pool, but beach, that only happens when I'm on vacation.

I smiled as I looked at my reflection. I had minimal makeup on, and my straw hat, as usual, I wore a maroon color two-piece and a wrap-around dress over it. The dress was in a rose gold shade, made of a translucent organza material. Before I left, I made sure to use a shit ton of sunscreen; getting sunburnt wasn't in my to-do list.

I took a cab to the Marina and stepped into the sun-kissed boardwalk of the Marina, where I found Lena on the deck of a sleek white yacht. She waved at me and signaled me to come over with a wide smile as her blonde locks danced in the wind. She came over holding a drink in one hand and shouted something in German to someone behind her, and then grinned at me.

I smiled at her and adjusted my dress before carefully stepping onto the gangplank, where she greeted me with a hug before handing me a glass of sangria.