In Charlotte's Eyes

ONE: I Forgive You, Charlotte

“You'll get over him someday.” Audrey’s sickly sweet voice taunted, echoing.

Charlotte didn't know where she was. Her heart rate increased hearing her say those words again. She felt like she was floating through the fabric of space itself, spiraling endlessly—yet she was standing on solid ground. “You bitch..” She muttered angrily, fists clenched.

Audrey appeared in front of her finally. She looked mostly like her. “Why are you so aggressive, Charlotte?” She asked, her eyes not there. “I haven't done anything to you to deserve it.”

She growled. “You've done more than enough to deserve it. You weren't there for me.”

“I don't know what makes you think I wasn't there for you. I was there with you when you found out the news, wasn't I?” She was smiling. “Besides,” She leaned towards her. “Two wrongs don't make a right, right?”

Charlotte gulped, disgustedly shifting away from her. “You've wronged me many times.” She retorted. “I deserve to make you feel as miserable as I do. You deserve it.”

Audrey hummed, leaning back, hands behind her back, amused.

“What about us?” Kylee’s voice asked.

Charlotte turned on a dime, staring Kylee and Leon in the face.

“We didn't do anything to you to deserve the way you treated us.” He accused.

Her brows scrunched, a bead of sweat on her brow. “You.. You two made me feel inferior—replaced. You-.. You ruined the excitement!”

“Yes, but,” Leon looked her lowly in the eyes. “We didn't force you to feel that way.”

“You chose to feel offended. It doesn't excuse you from treating us so coldly.” Kylee added, arms crossed.

Before Charlotte could come up with a justification for herself, Rebecca chimed in with, “You know, this wouldn't have happened if you didn't get arrested.” Her sing-song voice teased.

Suddenly, everyone was around her. She could feel all her friends’ presence. What was this? Why was everyone here? Deep down she felt she knew, but the answer wasn't coming to her.

“We know who you are, Charlotte.” Carlos’ voice joined in. He stood side by side with Audrey. “You're a liar.”

“You lied to me.” Audrey’s brows furrowed. “You attacked me.”

“You attacked me, too.” Aaron pensively added. Charlotte grimaced at him. She felt a shot of guilt go through her.

“You take advantage of me constantly!” Suzuki proclaimed in frustration. “Where would you be without me?”

“I've tried to help you.” Parker. Her eyes widened, and her heart rate increased, panic settling in. “So many times, Charlotte.” He shook his head in shame.

“You are untrustworthy.” Suzuki continued.

“You misuse the money we gave you.” Leon reminded.

“To think I trusted even a cent to you.” Carlos pouted. “You parasite.”

Charlotte crumbled to her knees. Everyone was against her. Showering her with accusations.

Not accusations.

“G-Guys, please..” She pitifully pleaded.

“Have you—once ever—stopped and wondered if maybe you are the problem?” Audrey asked.

“You told me that I was going to be okay.” Jackson’s voice made her gasp. Alert, she stared at his gloomy face. Her whole world started shaking. Then, the thimble faded away.

“Please..” Her voice shakily whispered. “Please forgive me..” She begged to no one in particular.

Slowly, her friends began fading. Without looking up, she felt their presence disappear, one by one; a silent rejection to her plea. She was alone. An outcast to everybody.

Her head bowed in shame. She understood. She wronged everyone. All of her friends.. she didn't deserve any of them. She cheated them, tore them down. She didn't even realize she was doing it sometimes. And sometimes she tried justifying her actions.

She had to live with those consequences. Nobody would accept her.

“Despite everything,”

Tears in her eyes, Charlotte’s eyes snapped up. Parker was there. A soft, welcoming smile on his face. Her skin crawled with desperation.

“I still forgive you.” He softly whispered.

Delicately, Charlotte sniffled. “E-Even after everything I-I did..?”

He nodded. “Through all our lows,” He gently pushed his hand out towards her. “I would go through all of them again. You're still my friend. I care about you.” His hand fell to his side.

Friend..

Sniffling, she stood herself up, wobbling. She looked him in the eyes. She blinked a few times. He was still there. Her breathing was uneven, but it was slowing.

“You’ve had it hard.” He grinned. “We'll make things better. You want to be a better person, don't you? I'll help you.”

Charlotte wanted to cry. Unable to stop herself, she did. But she started running towards him.

He held out his arms. “Come here, Charlotte.”

She stumbled over herself. She sobbed, tears blurring her vision. An aroused rush made its sudden appearance. She needed him. He was willing to forgive her. She could redeem herself for all the things she did. She just needed to make it to him.

She got closer and closer.

Her crying intensified with each step.

He was right there.

She could almost touch him again.

…

“You wouldn't have done the same for me.”

…

The dream. The dream was over? Charlotte’s face scrunched in discontent. No, no, it couldn't be over. It was so real, it was..

It was a dream..?

Her eyes opened, already shaking. A simple, quiet melody met her ears. Her breathing crescendoed. Wobbly, her arms grabbed the sides of her head. “Goddamnit..” She muttered, unbelieving. “No, no..!” Her breathing hastened. “No, it couldn't have been a..!” She broke, an exasperated and scratchy gasp escaping her.

Parker was right there. For a moment, she felt freed from Abstracty’s torment. Maybe that feeling of freedom was a part of its torture for her mind. But why?

So confused and so upset, she sobbed once.

“..Are you okay?”

Charlotte jumped. “AH!” She bolted upwards, adrenaline racing through her suddenly. Bassy’s curious, blank expression met her. She flinched at Charlotte’s reaction. “G-GO AWAY!” Charlotte demanded.

“Huh?”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? I-I DON'T WANT YOU TO KEEP CHECKING UP ON ME. MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS, YOU FREAK OF A PERSON.” She breathed fast, pointing violently at her. “I'M TIRED OF ALL OF YOU, I JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE,” She paused for a breath. “SO THAT I CAN GET AWAY FROM YOU.”

Bassy had a deep, intimidated frown on her face.

Charlotte suddenly felt out of energy, the adrenaline in her system already withering. She panted for breath. Bassy quickly—but awkwardly—scrambled to her feet and left without another word.

When she left, Charlotte fell to her knees. And she crashed back into position, shaking in pain.

Audrey. Her mind suddenly thought about Audrey.