A Series of Unfortunate Events

30 3 0
                                        

Poe, sniffling: Calm down, I'm probably not sick. It might just be allergies.

Klaus: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired?

Poe: I have depression, what do you think?

----------

Lemony Snicket: Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.

----------

Lemony Snicket to Sunny, who's about to get married: Today, two families are becoming one.

Klaus, in an ominous voice: Two families enter, one family leaves.

Violet: That sounds so threatening...

Klaus: The Wedding Games...

Violet: May the bouquet toss be ever in your favor.

Sunny: Beautiful.

Lemony Snicket: Fuck all of you!

----------

Klaus, playing a video game: This game is so frustrating! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

Violet: Ok, I think it's time to turn off the game for a little while.

Klaus: But I'm having fun!

----------

Poe: Do you see yourself as a glass half-full or glass half-empty kind of person?

Lemony Snicket: Half-full, definitely.

Lemony Snicket: Half-full and constantly rising.

Lemony Snicket: Soon the water will escape its container and consume us all.

----------

Klaus: Heyyy Violet, how's your... drink??

Violet: What do you mean drink? It's coffee.

Klaus: You sure?? *Looks to coffee maker*

Violet: *Looks to coffee maker*

*Cement sitting beside the coffee maker*

Violet:...I'm on my third fucking drink right now, I should be dead.

----------

Violet: What do you call disobeying the law?

The Squad: A hobby.

Violet: *crosses their arms*

The Squad: That we do not engage in.

----------

*Violet teaching Klaus to drive and taking Sunny along for the ride*

Violet: That's a pothole. To the left!

Klaus: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*

Sunny, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth.

Klaus: I don't think that's how the song goes.

Violet, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.

Klaus: Country Roads.

Sunny: To the place.

Klaus and Sunny in unison: I Belong!

Violet, crying harder: What the fuck?

----------

Klaus: I know we're not exactly friends, but-

Poe: What do you want?

Klaus: I've been stuck with Olaf for 2 weeks and they've been drinking all the soy sauce.

Klaus: Help.

----------

Lemony Snicket: I don't follow the rules. I follow dogs on social media.

Incorrect QuotesStories to obsess over. Discover now