Steven Universe

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Spinel: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-

Steven: You sleep with a teddybear.

Spinel: He's my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

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Connie: I want a bf.

Garnet: Do you mean best friend, boyfriend or bread feast? Because you're being really vague here.

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Pearl: Hey, do you know the password to Peridot's computer?

Lapis: Fuck you, Pearl.

Pearl: Hey!!

Lapis: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouPearl".

Pearl: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

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Ruby: 'Technically legal', the two best words in the the English language, right before 'cowboy spectacular.'

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Steven: Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?

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Steven: Don't trust everything you see on the internet. 

Peridot: Pfft, what could the internet possibly say? Oh, did you know that the earth is actually flat? 

Steven, taking away her phone: No more screentime for you. 

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Steven: What do you call disobeying the law?

The Squad: A hobby.

Steven: *crosses his arms*

The Squad: That we do not engage in.

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Amethyst: Be careful, I thrive on negative attention.

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Random homophobe: Go to hell!

Pearl: Oh! I've been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely.

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Pearl: Hey Amethyst, have you seen the photographer?

Amethyst: Nope. Have you seen the meat tenderizer?

Pearl, confused: What?

Amethyst, grabbing the meat tenderizer out of the drawer: No reason, cute girl things!

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