Murder Drones

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N: Why be bored when you can be taped to a ceiling?

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N: Dude, we can get mythical animals! Maybe I'll get a penguin!

Uzi: Penguins are real.

N: That's the spirit, Uzi! They're real to me too!

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N: Where are you going?

Uzi: To get MYSELF a gift cause somebody didn't get me one!

N: I told you I did! Its coming here on Friday!

V, knowing full well that N got Doll an engagement ring: *eating popcorn*

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*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*

V: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.

Uzi: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.

J: if you want information it is

N: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

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N: Uzi's refusing to wear their glasses!

Uzi: N, look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch.

Uzi: *points to V* V.

Uzi: *points to Doll* Doll.

Uzi: *points to J* Sasquatch.

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V: Christmas lights?

N: Check.

Uzi: Thermos of hot cocoa?

N: Check.

Lizzy: Santa suits?

N: Check.

Doll: Shovel?

N: Check.

Thad : Alibi and bail money?

N: Check- wait, WHAT?!

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Uzi, at Cyn's funeral: I need a moment with them.

Everyone: Of course. *They leave*

Uzi, leaning over Cyn′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you're not dead.

Cyn: Yeah, no shit.

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Uzi: Sorry I'm late, everyone! I broke down on the way.

N: Oh no! Is your car okay?

Uzi: ...what car?

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Cyn: Would you like something to drink? *They open the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-

J: Spiders?

Cyn: Spiders it is then.

J: No, that wasn't-

*But they were already pouring her a brimming glass of spiders...*

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N: What is your favourite mythical story?

J: The Story Of My Will To Live.

N: I don't think I've heard of that one before.

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