Steven Universe

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Pearl: So I'm the only one around here who can clean up, huh? You can't even lift a finger?

Amethyst: Do I get to pick the finger?

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*Peridot and Lapis enter a dive bar*

Peridot: Look, I know you're disappointed but could we at least have a drink.

Lapis, in a scuba diving suit: I would like leave, please.

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White Diamond, about Spinel: They're covered in blood again. Why is it they're always covered in blood?

Blue Diamond: Well, it looks like it's their own blood this time.

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Steven: Garnet, say aluminum again. It's the entire source of my serotonin during these trying times.

Garnet: *sigh* Only for you, buddy. Alyoouminnieeum.

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Spinel: Fun Fact! The average person will walk by 36 murderers in their lifetime.

Steven: I like how this is a "fun" fact.

Garnet: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you.

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Amethyst: I don't know how you have your foot in your mouth, your head up your ass, and your nose in my business. But here we are, you fucking wizard.

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Pink Diamond: Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Spinel: Which one? I can't do both.

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Greg: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, that's fucked up. Like c'mon, you know I'm dumb as hell!

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Pearl: Hey, Garnet? Can I get some dating advice?

Garnet: Just because I'm with me doesn't mean I know how I did it.

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Pearl: Did you just refer to a knife as a "people-opener"?

Garnet:

Garnet: ...Should I not have?

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