My Life Saver

Chapter Five

Chapter 5:

"Rae.. I just want you to know that I love you so much, you are the bestest best friend I've ever had. I honestly don't know what I would do without you..

I'm sorry I never told you I was diagnosed with cancer.. I-I was so scared and I didn't want you to worry so much about me.

You remember when I left school for about 2 weeks and I told you it was 'cause I went on a trip to Disneyland?

Well I actually got so sick.. So sick that I had to go into the Emergency Room...

I'm sorry I lied to you.. I'm sorry I never told you. I just love you so much. You're my sister.. I couldn't have you worrying everyday..

Well I know you're probably thinking, 'but you never looked sick, you had so much luscious hair!'

I used so much make up and put on a wig.

I was a good actor. You know, that's what I always wanted to be.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't faking smiles or laughs with you. Those were real, but I was slowly dying.

Every time I laughed, it hurt so much..

I had cancer in my stomach.

They found it late and it already spread too fast.

They found it a year ago and

apparently I've had it longer than that.

I'm sorry if you can't really read this. My hand is so shaky right now and I can't stop the tears from falling..

I keep remembering all the memories we had, all the good times and the bad..

I just laughed a little thinking about that embarrassing moment we had at the Mall, when we passed by the movie theater trying to get the guys attention. We were being so stupid and then B A M ! We hella fell and he laughed at us!

Haha so embarrassing..

Okay, so here it is. Please don't be mad at me, it was my decision okay?

I couldn't take it anymore. The doctor told me I had months to live, and well that time will be up in a week, so why not just die now? Why not just end it?

That's why I did it. Why should I wait to die when that will hurt everyone I love so much more than if I just take my life?

I love you though, okay? Keep that in mind. I want you to be strong for me, for your mom, and your little brother.

If any of those bitches mess with you, I will just scare them at night with my ghostlyness.

Shh don't judge me, I just made that word up and I think it's pretty damn cool, okay? So shh.

I really hope you don't forget me, don't ever forget me, and all the memories we've had, please? I definitely won't.

Again, stay strong, don't do anything stupid..

I'll be watching you from above, I'll be your angel. I promise to protect you from any harm.

I'll be there for you, always.

Much Love,

Livi"