Meant to be?

I'm so tired!

Two weeks later:
"Honey why won't you sleep? .....Huh? Mommy is very tired" I said with a low voice, while I tried to place Louisa down in her bassinet. But it made her cry even more. "....Shuu please!" I whispered while tears started to come down my face. I was so tired. Louisa had been crying a lot lately, and especially at night. "Lou I don't know what to do okay... I've fed you, changed you, cuddled with you.... you have to be tired?" I said while tears came down my cheeks. I didn't knew what to do anymore, so I just picked her up, and held her close to my body, and she started to cry more. I slowly walked over to the grey chair, located beside her bed, and sat down while I rubbed her back trying to calm her down.

"I'm home... I'm sorry I'm late... but they wanted to shot more scenes this evening because the weather is great!" I could her Danny say from downstairs. Probably because he thought I was still downstairs, because I had forgot to turn the lights of.... I tried to wipe my tears away, because I didn't wanted him to see me like that. I didn't wanted him to see that I had been crying like crazy because of a baby that didn't wanted to sleep.

"Isn't she sleeping yet?" Danny said with a tired voice, when he walked into our bedroom. He just stopped and looked at me with big eyes. There I was sitting in my black robe, hair everywhere, tears came down my face, and a screaming baby on my chest. He walked closer to me, with a concerned expression on his face. I slowly looked up at him, which made me cry even more. "Babydoll......!" Danny said with a soft voice, before he slowly took the baby out of my arms, and stroked her back while giving me a sympatric look..... "My little girl you have to sleep now.... mommy and daddy are tired!" He said with a soft voice, while I fell back in the chair, and kept crying, leaning my head on the arm rest.

Danny took Louisa downstairs, and walked around with her. And after a half an hour, I couldn't hear crying anymore. I slowly went back to bed, and I was laying with my back towards the door when Danny came in. I wasn't angry at him. I was just frustrated that he was working so much, especially when we had a little baby. The last week he had been working all day, and he came home late, so it was always me that had to go through the hard parts.... Trying to get her to sleep. Danny slowly walked over to her bassinet, that where placed close to my side of the bed. When he placed her down, I closed my eyes, and pretended I was asleep, because I knew so well that he wanted to talk about it...

He crawled into the bed, and tried to spoon up behind me. But I quickly turned over, so I was laying on my stomach. I just wanted to be alone. I was so tired that I couldn't even think straight. I loved being a mom; it was just really hard sometimes. "Jessica..?" He whispered while he placed his hand on my back. I didn't answered, and I didn't moved a muscle..... but my tears... I wasn't able to control. So tears ran down my face. "....Jessie I know you're awake!" Danny said again, with a low voice..... I took a deep breath, while I pushed my face down into the pillow. "Mhhm" I murmured. ".....It's okay to cry!" He said with a low voice, while he stroked my back. When he said that I started to cry more, and I quickly turned around and moved all close to him..... Danny looked at me with sad eyes, before he hugged me tight. I started sobbing, and I pushed my head close to his chest, while he placed one of his hands on the back of my head. "I....I'm so tired....!" I cried. "Shuuu baby it's okay!" Danny said with a soft voice, before he kissed my head. He slowly pulled away, a placed a hard passionate kiss on my lips. I quickly pushed him away from me, while I murmured bastard. Danny laid back down, while he took a deep breath. "Jessica I don't know what to do anymore!... I just wanna touch my wife... what have I done wrong?" he said with a low voice. I just gave him a hard look, before more tears came down my face "You don't know what to do?" I said with an angry voice, while I pointed at him. "You are barely home..... you don't know what this is like.... the last weeks you have been working all the time....you always come home when she is exhausted by the crying.... I have to do all the work!.... That's what you have done" I sobbed while I turned around, so my back was turned towards him. "...Jessica..... I'm sorry I didn't knew you felt that way!" Danny said sounding hurt. I squeezed the pillow close to my body before I whispered "....Well I do!" with a low voice.

Danny slowly placed one of his hands on my side, and tried to turn me around. "Stop it Danny!" I said with a tired voice. "Can't we at least talk about it?" Danny asked with a soft voice, while he moved his body close to mine. "....Danny it's been a long day!...... We can talk about it in the morning!" I said with a tired voice, while I moved my body as far away from Danny as I possibly could...