If only you knew (Camren)

Chapter 50

Lauren's POV
'@ laurenjauregui You're a slut'
'@ laurenjauregui You're fat'
'@ laurenjauregui You can't even sing'
'@ laurenjauregui Go fuck yourself Lauren'
All of these said by the same person on Twitter. I couldn't help but keep reading them. As much as I told myself to stop nothing could stop me. Usually things like this don't usually bother me and I'll just show them who's boss but this time I feel defeated, but I think that's mainly because the last one I saw was
'@ laurenjauregui Camila deserves better than you.'
I can take hate about me personally, but when it's about mine and Camz's relationship then it hits me, and it hits me hard. Still reading the tweets on this account I just felt numb, I was literally speechless for once. I had no will power to even type a spiteful tweet back.
I kinda just zoned out after I read as much as I could before I couldn't physically take it any more, I was in the room physically but mentally I was somewhere else trapped, somewhere where hate was just being thrown at me. I locked my phone and threw it onto the bed and just sat there, no expression on my face at all. I was motionless, just thoughts rushing round my head. Was they right? Did Camila really deserve better? To be honest they're probably right, I am a bitch at times and Camila  shouldn't have to deal with a bitchy girlfriend.
I am pretty worthless now I think about it, what extra do I have that any other girl out there has. Nothing.
Camila can have any girl she likes fall at her feet I know that so why me? I'm just a fuck up most of the time.
I see what they mean now, she does deserve better.
-----
After minutes of sitting staring blankly at the wall Camila's head appeared from the bathroom door.
"Can you pass me my pyjamas please? I left them" she asked me politely
I managed to escape my thoughts and walked over to where she left her clothes the previous day.
"Thank you" she said as I passed them to her. She soon came out from the bathroom and say beside me on the bed
"Do you want to shower now?" She asked
"No it's cool, I'll have one in the morning" I answered
"Are you okay? You seem kinda out of it" she said seeming quite concerned
"Yeah I'm fine, I guess I'm still a bit emotional after today" I said which was true but not fully the truth
"I was thinking while I was in the shower, I think we should tell the fans you know...about my illness" she informed me
"Yeah maybe" was all I said
"I mean like if I only have 2 months left on tour then I just leave for a bit there's gonna be a load of shot being spread"
"Yeah most likely" I said with yet another blunt reply. I didn't mean to give her all these blunt answers but after thinking that she deserves better I feel like she does so what's the point in trying so hard anymore if everyone else things she needs to be with someone else better to
"I'll ask the other girls and see what they think" she told me and I just nodded.
I think she has caught on at the fact I'm not in the best of moods and is trying not to mention too much about her illness in case I have another 'breakdown' in front of her again for like the 3rd time today.
As much as the fact my girlfriend has a major illness kills me inside I still have other things on my mind.
Maybe I should talk to her and see what she thinks, but then again she'll probably think I'm being pathetic about it all and make me feel like a stupid ass prick.
I wish people wouldn't give out hate, it really messes with people's heads and it literally takes over them, as much as I try and not let it take over me I can't, it just controls me anyway.
Easily half an hour passed of silence. Camila was on her phone texting someone, I'm guessing one of the other girls and I was still just sat there, not even thinking about anything any more, it was like I was asleep but with my eyes open.
"I've told the girls and they think it's a good idea to tell the fans, If you don't think it is just say and I won't tell them yet" she spoke finally breaking the silence
"I think you should tell them Camz's" I agreed actually trying to make conversation this time
"Twitter or tumblr?" She asked
"Tumblr but post a link onto Twitter?" I suggested
"Okay yeah I'll do that. Help me write it, I suck"
"You do not suck at writing!" I exclaimed
"I do when it comes to writing things about me"
"Just literally tell them everything from start to finish no matter how long it is, I'm sure all of the fans will read it, and if they don't the they suck" I admitted
"True" she said laughing a little
"How does this sound?" She asked after she had been typing for a little while
"Hey guys, I just want to let you know some news about me. This may come as a shock to some of you but I have cancer... I was diagnosed a while back now but I recently found out that I have 2 months left on tour and then I have to start chemotherapy. At the minute I am having radiotherapy on the days we have off but it seems as though I need something stronger so chemo is the only option. I hope you guys understand why I won't be on tour soon, don't worry I still love you loads. Camila xxx" she read
"That's beautiful" I told her
"I didn't want to make it to long because I'll go off track and start talking about something random"
"Me?" I asked with a smirk
"No" she she teased
"Admit it" I said still smirking
"Yeahhhh" she finally gave in
"I remember when we said that on the xfactor" I said as I smiled at the memory
"I do too, fans went crazy" she chuckled
"I know right, I was so confused why people was saying it was cute and all that, I just didn't understand but now I do"
"Awwww soppy Lauren" Camila teased which ended up in her getting a playful slap on the arm
"Oww!" She shouted but couldn't keep a serious face
"I love you" I said
"I love you too" she reciprocated as I leaned into kiss me delicate lips. I wrapped my arms around her waist and watched as she clicked the post button on her phone. She locked her phone and took a deep breath
"It'll be okay babe" I reassured her
"I know" she replied

Thanks to Camila I had forgotten about all the crap that prick on Twitter had said to me but that was until I went back onto my phone again...

Finally an update ayy! I would have posted this earlier but my wifi has been literally shit and I've not been able to do fuck all! Anyways keep liking and commenting!:)
Feel free to drop me a message on here or even a question/message on tumblr. My user name is jodiebaggaley XD