If only you knew (Camren)

Chapter 56

Camila's POV
"Where the fuck is Lauren?!" Dinah shouted from the door of mine and Lauren's hotel room. It's been a few days since the night of the livestream and to be honest everything was going pretty smooth which I'm so thankful for. Me and the girls had been to rehearsals and we had done our first show of the tour which is always a good experience. You get to see some familiar faces and then you see others you don't recognise but either way they all make us feel loved and make the show 10 times better.
Lauren and I had gone on a romantic walk one night and everything was perfect but then I course something had to happen to ruin everything.
"What do you mean where's Lauren? I thought she was with you" I asked confused
"Well she was but now she's not" the younger girl confessed
"What happened?"
"We wasn't doing much, I was on the phone to my mum and Lauren was on hers, I don't know what she was doing but I heard her get up really quick so I looked at her and she had run out the door and I don't know where she's gone" she babbled quickly
"For fucks sake" I muttered
"What?" Dinah asked and tilted her head in confusion
"Lauren's been getting a lot of hate recently, I've told her not to read it or to take it to heart but she's obviously still reading it" I explained sounding frustrated
"Do you want me to go and find her?" Dinah asked me
"No I'll go, I'm gonna have a word with her, hopefully this should work"
"Good luck" she said as I put my book down and got off the couch. Dinah gave me a soft smile when I walked past her, she walked back to her room and I went on my mission to find my girlfriend.
----
I had no clue where she would be, we was in the middle of a city and were unfamiliar with the surrounding so she could be anywhere. I tried the local park where I thought she could be but I had no luck. I must have been patrolling the streets of New York for at least half an hour, I had called  and texted Lauren but I got no response. Dinah, Normani and Ally also hasn't had a sight of Lauren since she left so I was none the wiser as to where she was.
I was on my route back to the hotel when something made me look towards the car park of the hotel and I spotted the tour bus. Could she be there? I asked myself.
I walked up to the door expecting it to be locked but it wasn't, I walked in quietly and there was my girlfriend at the back of the bus. She had practically trashed the little room in obvious anger or upset.
"Lauren?" I said softly
"Please leave Camz, I need to be alone" she said through gritted teeth while pacing up and down
"No" was all I said
"Camila, please leave" she repeated
"No Lauren, you need to talk about this" I told her and took a step closer. She lifted her hands to her head in frustration and started kicking around an empty box that was left on the floor
"Lauren stop!" I shouted "sit down"
"You don't fucking understand! No one does" she raised her voice
"You don't think I've had hate before!" I yelled back
"Well they fucking love you now, they love you and the other girls but not me, I'm just a fucking tag along" she said and finally sat down on
the couch and tucked her head into her knees
"Nobody wants me Camz. I don't even know what happiness and love feels like anymore, everyone hates me and that's the way it always has been. I'm not wanted and no one will ever want me. I'm just useless and a waste of time and space to everyone. Love and happiness is just like fairy tales, it's all fucking bullshit" Lauren sobbed. Hearing her say that hit me hard. To be honest it pissed me off a bit because I care for her and I love her. No matter what I said to her she wouldn't accept the fact she is loved by many people. The only way to get her to understand was to be a little harsh, so that's what I did.
"Look I really don't know what to say to be honest. You sit here and tell me that nobody wants you... But I don't understand where you're coming from to be honest. I don't know when I became just a nobody. I mean, in my eyes I'm somebody, I'm my eyes I'm somebody important and my opinion matters. I may be pretty stupid at times but I'm definitely not nobody. So when you tell me nobody wants you, that hurts...because I don't see how you can say that when there is someone fighting for you, everyday, right in front of you, because they care about you. So if you can't hear me when I tell you that you matter maybe now you'll hear me." I walked over to the crying girl and sat down by her side and continued
"I am not no one so do not say that nobody wants you because I want you and I will fight for you everyday. I think about you everyday, I wonder how you're doing because I- I can't be there for you all the time! But that doesn't mean I'm nobody. Because I care. And you know the person that says they have nobody who cares about them is usually the person who has the most people caring about them. So... Yeah. That's the person I have been fighting for, the person who says that nobody cares about them when someone does and I'm cool with that but there is a line that when you cross it, you know that really hurts." My own eyes started to well up but I held myself together. She had now lifted her head up and I could see the tears steaming down her face. She was just staring blankly at the wall listening at the words I was speaking.
"You told me nobody wanted you and okay I understand why you say that but then you have the nerve to tell me there's no such thing as happiness or love! I know that is a lie, you tell me that happiness and love is a lie and that its all just fairy tales and stories and it's a lie like all of that! Right now you're lying to me when you say that because I know happiness! I know love! And you know it too! Okay I know it sounds like I'm being really harsh now Lauren, yeah thats called tough love. Love! Get it through your head god damn it! It's real, people love you! It's right in front of you. I smile everyday and if you really know me you might find that hypocritical but I smile everyday because I find something to be happy about!" I shouted in frustration
"I have cancer. Me, Camila Cabello, a member of fifth harmony, your fucking girlfriend has cancer and I'm dying but somebody makes me smile even if it has no relation to me. You know why? Because that's happiness. You say happiness are lies like fairy tales but fairy tales aren't lies. They're supposed to inspire you. You look at the character and you see them going through this situation that seems almost totally impossible that no human could ever get through. But then you see them persevere, you see them get through that and they fight with their heads held high. Even when they fall they get back up! Then there's the end, there's good that comes out what they just went through. They're supposed to tell you that you should just keep going because there are good moments that happen and no matter who you are you're gonna have a good moment in your life! So just don't close the book before you've even gotten to the best bit. Don't tell me there are no happy endings because you're not God and you cannot read the end of your book. You can't read the last page. You just can't. But if you do close that book...and if you do stop writing it... I will pick your book up in hand with mine and I will write yours and mine at the same time! I will probably think about closing mine, about closing yours, about closing them both because it's hard to write two books at once. But guess what, life is hard Lauren! Writing your book of life is gonna be difficult and if I'm willing to pick up your book of life and write it even after you're done with it, then you had  best better open your eyes. Only a blind person doesn't see what's in front of them, and you can't see that there is somebody so willing to do anything for you because they care about you and are happy and they want you to be happy and most importantly they love you! There are happy endings; I've seen them. There is love because I've seen it, I've felt it and I have experienced it. Part of love and part of happiness is pain because if you experience pain when you're happy, you know you're happy. You know you're in love when you're in love. Please don't tell me it's a lie, and don't try to bring me down with you because I'm  not bringing myself down and I'm not letting you bring yourself down either! I will pick you up, and I will carry you so help me, even after I'm dead I will fight for you. I will fight for your memory because guess what? Everything you do has a special place in someone's heart, every little thing you have done will be remembered, so ending that book is not worth it"
I took a big sigh and realised I took it a bit too far, it sure did feel good to get out of my system but I decided to end my rant because I saw the hurt in Lauren's eyes. Her beautiful face was covered in tears but hopefully this time I have gotten through to her and made her realise.
"So don't say you're not wanted when somebody wants you. I want you and I love you"
She looked at me for a few seconds the tears still streaming down her face
"How? How the fuck do you put up with me" she asked
"Because I love you" I confessed
"Now look at me Lauren" I said and her sad eyes locked onto my comforting ones
"You promise me that you'll never take it to heart again yeah?"
"Camz..."
"Promise me Lauren" I said once again
"Okay...I promise" she said and gave a me small smile. I pulled my phone out and opened up Twitter and sent out a tweet

#LaurenIsLoved get this trending guys!!

"Camz you didn't have to do that" she told me
"I wanted to, I want you to see how much people love you and that those haters can go fuck themselves" I explained
"What would I do without you" she said sadly
"Come one let's get you cleaned up, we have a concert tomorrow so we should get some sleep"
"Okay"
----
We walked back to the hotel together, hand in hand. Lauren's tears had stopped now and we was in a comfortable silence until Lauren broke it
"Thank you...thanks for giving me that talk, I don't think anyone could of made me feel better about myself but you did and I can't thank you enough" she told me
"You're welcome, I know you would do the same" I said with a soft smile which was returned immediately.

Sooo two updates in 2 days, I feel so proud XD and its even over 2000 words!
Anyways keep up the likes and comments:)<3