If only you knew (Camren)

Chapter 16

Camila's POV
After telling Lauren about my illness i felt so much better. I am so relieved that she doesn't hate me for keeping such a big secret from her, even though I have told her there is still other people including my other band mates. Personally I wish I could just hid it but it's the hospital appointments are hard to cover up, especially when they are getting more frequent.
I'm also glad Lauren knows how I feel towards her, and hopefully now we can work together and build a strong relationship from that, I just don't wasn't to ruin things between us.
I woke up to the familiar feeling of Lauren's arms wrapped around my waist and her chin snuggled into my neck. If I was to wake up like this every morning then that will be the correct definition of perfection. She makes me feel safe, warm and welcome, like no I am no one else's just hers which is true. I don't want to be anyone else's I just want to be hers. I feel special when she talks about me to people, I feel special even when she talks to me, everything she does for me makes me feel special.
After much thinking while Lauren peacefully slept I decided I was going to tell the other girls today about my illness, I'm not being fair to them and the deserve to know, it will make me feel so much better knowing I don't have to try and hide my medication anymore, the fact I can have an open conversation about it too makes me feel a lot better because I find it so much better just talking to people in stead of bottling up my feelings.
I lay in Lauren's bunk for another hour before she woke up herself. She didn't say anything to start with, she just placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head which made me smile.
"Good morning beautiful" she told me
"Heyy perfect" I responded to her compliment with a grin plastered in my face. As cheesy and cringey that sounds, to me it was the best thing anyone could of ever said to me in the morning. I turned around to face her, we was then nose to nose, smiles stretched across both of our faces. I wanted to lean in for a kiss so badly but before I had time to she asked me a question
"Camz, what are we doing?" She asked me quietly so no one could hear "What do you mean?" I asked her, confused as what she was trying to ask me
"Where do we stand now? I know we are best friends and all that, but these feelings we have for each other, where does that leave us" she explained. To be honest I didn't know the answer to the question so I replied as honestly as possible "I actually don't know, I mean I don't want to be best friends with you any more Lauren"
She looked at me and furrowed her eyebrows slightly offended by what I just said. "I want to be more than a best friend to you" I finished. The frown on her face soon turned back into a smile as she lifted her hand to my face moving to strands of hair that fell across my eyes.
"Well then, Camila cabello, I guess that leaves one question" she told me
"And that question is what Lauren Jauregui?" I asked raising and eyebrow
"Will you be my girlfriend?" She asked shyly
"I thought you would never ask" I replied finally getting my chance to lean in to kiss her soft lips once again. The kiss was slow and passionate but quickly ended by the curtain of Lauren's bunk being quickly drawn back by the one and only Dinah, with Normani and Ally stood at the side of her. All 3 of the girls had a shocked expression on their face as they just witnessed another Camren kiss, but this time it wasn't a dare.
"Shit" I cursed under my breath while Lauren just stared blankly at me, with wide eyes and her teeth biting her bottom lip.
"Girls I think you have some explaining to do" dinah said still with the same shocked expression as she went back into the main area of the bus. Normani and ally didn't know what to do so they just stood there like statures staring at me and Lauren in the bunk. I could feel my cheeks going really red and I hid my face in Lauren's neck, then I heard some chuckling coming from the two girls stood in front of us "woah.... Well that was a sunrise" Normani admitted. As I slowly peaked from the crook of Lauren's neck
"I second what dinah said, we need an explanation" ally told us before joining dinah on the sofa "i third that!" Normani added then left me and Lauren alone once again
"Fuck" Lauren said still biting her lip.
"Lo, Im going to tell them" i informed her
"Well I think we have already been Sussed out camz" she said laughing
"I mean about the cancer, then we can explain it all, like why we was distant"
I told her. Lauren's smile disappeared as she remembered what I told her last night "oh yeah" she said softly then swallowed hard
"I need your help though, I need you to hold my hand the whole time so I don't feel afraid because I'm scared Lauren" I told her "why are you scared?" she asked
"Because they might see me differently now, every time they look at me they could be thinking 'she's sick' and they might always be helping me out, as much as I appreciate that i would rather do thinks by myself because I don't like to admit that I actually am sick" I explained to my girlfriend
"Don't worry I'll be there for you no matter what" she reassured me before placing a quick kiss on my lips then got out of the bunk so we could break the good and bad new to the other 3 girls.
We made our way over to them and took the remaining seats on the other sofa and I felt Lauren take my hand as we sat down and she gave it a quick squeeze letting me know it'll be okay.
"Hit us with it" dinah said leaning back into the chair
"Well there is more than one thing we need to tell you, one of them being something of my own, the other both of us" I told them while looking towards the floor "you might have noticed that I have been going out by myself an awful lot recently, some times longer than others, but I have a reason for that"
I looked at Lauren and she gave me a supportive smile but That didn't hide the tears that were forming in her eyes. I took a deep breath before finishing my confession "well each time I went, I actually went to the hospital because... Because errm.. I have... Cancer" i quietly said not able to look at the girls responses. Instead of looking up at them i threw myself in to Lauren's arms and broke into uncontrollable sobs. I wasn't the only one who was sobbing hysterically, I could hear Lauren's soft cries from above me as she slowly rubbed my back and rocked me back and forth. I could also hear 3 other sets of crying coming from the other sofa in the little room.
Many minutes passed as all 5 of us girls cried and cried before I broke the silence. I slowly sat up getting out of Lauren's grip but never let go of her hand "please what ever you do, don't see me any differently" I begged them
"We will never ever see you and differ my mila" ally said standing up and came over to me and wrapped her little arms around me. The other 2 girls also came and gave me a big hug before we settled down in our seats again. None of us did actually stop crying but I decided to change the subject
"Because of that, that was the reason I was ignoring Lauren. She confessed her feelings for me one night and I didn't want her to get hurt by me so I kept my distance hoping that they would soon go away. Little did she know it was torture for me because I love her too, I couldn't stop thinking about her but when I tried to talk things through she gave me a taste of my own medicine which I can't blame her for. All of that lead up to us running off the stage yesterday which was then when I confessed my own feelings and I was about to tell her about my illness but you all barged in telling us to go back on stage. Later last night When me and Lauren was alone I told her about my illness and thankfully she wasn't to bothered that I didn't tell her. Now this morning, this is the good part. We was lying in bed and Lauren asked me to be her girlfriend and I happily accepted" I told the girls. They all smiled at both me and Lauren but still the tears we visible from the new before.
"We need to tell the fans" dinah said getting her phone out
"No!" Both me and Lauren shouted in unison. Dinah looked at us a little taken back by us both shouting
"I think it would be cute if we announce it on Christmas so we kinda like give them a christmas present" Lauren suggested
"That's so cute!" Normani gasped. We all laughed at her reaction and that ended up with dinah begging us to kiss for the camera. "kiss kiss kiss kiss" all 3 chanted, finally we gave in and give them what they wanted. "Can I see that?" I asked dinah, she showed me her phone which made me smile
"Keep it, and on Christmas post it on the fifth harmony Twitter account saying 'Camren is real'" I told her
"Yes mam" she said laughing.
We had a pretty relaxed drive to the airport where we was all going to go our separate ways for two weeks.
We exchanged the presents we had bought each other as well as the merry Christmas's and goodbyes before we made our way to the different sections of the air port we needed to be in. Because me and Lauren both live in Miami we are both on the same plane so we could have a nice journey home with each other's company which was all I could ask for at this moment in time.