If only you knew (Camren)

Chapter 12

Camila's POV
A couple days passed, slow and painful days. Days that consisted of ignoring Lauren and interacting with the other girls instead. I feel like such a bitch for doing it but like I keep telling myself over and over again it is for the best.
The morning slowly passed by and I noticed how Lauren seemed even more upset today a lot worse than she has been the past couple of days. It hurts me to see her like this and the worst thing is wanting to talk to her but not being able too because I just can't...not until her feelings pass.
Dinah and Lauren have become quite close recently and when I see Lauren laughing at some of the stupid things Dinah does makes me smile, the fact there still is a little life still in her makes me feel happy even though those laughs aren't because of me. The only thing I am causing her right now is pain, and she doesn't deserve that pain.
I was in my own little world when I saw Normani waving her hand in front of my face. "Yo mila, Earth to mila" she said while brining me back to reality. I blinked quickly adjusting my eyes as they had gone all fuzzy and i went really light headed. "We are going to go out for a bit, you coming?" She asked me
"No I think I'll stay here, I've just gone really light headed" i admitted
"Okay, Lauren isn't going either, she said she feels ill too so look after each other please" she said smiling at me. "we will see you later" dinah told both me and lauren. I saw that lauren and I nodded in sync and after that Dinah, Ally and Normani had gone out of the door leaving me and lauren alone together for the first time in a few days. The last time we was alone together was only for less than a minute in the elevator but now was going to be more then a minute, more than likely a good few hours.
I could tell that lauren wasn't actually ill because I've know her to say that she feels sick when she wants to be alone, but unfortunately for her it didn't work this time.
I was dreading the awkward tension in the air so I decided to try and break that by finally talking to her. Maybe it might make us both feel a lot better.
"Lauren?" I said quietly. I didn't know if and had heard me, but her headphones weren't in so I know I'm not being completely blanked out.
"Hey Lauren" I spoke again, this time a bit louder. I didn't get the reaction I wanted, just a loud sigh and her standing up then walking into another room.
Great I thought to myself. Maybe all of this ignoring her was too harsh, and now she's ignoring me. I slowly stood up knowing that if I stood up too quick I would go really light headed once again. I felt my head pounding right across my forehead so I went over to my bag and took out my medication. I got the tablets required and went to get a glass of water so I could swallow them easier.
After they had gone i made my way to the room that Lauren had gone into. I saw a lump under the duvet which made me question the fact she might actually be feeling ill.
"Can we talk?" I asked the other girl in the room. I swallowed hard when I heard her voice.
"What the fuck do you want camila" she spat. I knew for a fact that she was annoyed, one from the tone of her voice and two because she had called me camila
"I just wanted to talk, you know like friends do" I told her and regretted it instantly. I rubbed my forehead as the pain was unbearable now.
"As 'friends' do" lauren scoffed at me "something is telling me we aren't a even friends anymore" she added
"What? Why do you think that?" I asked and again wished I had said something else. One thing I was not good at was saying the right things when I had annoyed or upset someone, I always made it 10 times worse and that is exactly what I was doing now.
"Just leave me alone camila, I don't even want to talk to you" she told me bluntly.
"Oh okay" I managed to get out. I turned on my heels and closed the door behind me and made my way to the seat I was in before. Before I sat down I took another long gulp of water and took my phone and headphones out of my pocket. I finally plonked myself back onto the sofa and curled up into a tight ball as I went onto YouTube.
For many weeks I have been telling myself to do this but I have been scared of what would actually come up. I typed in 'Camren' in the search bar and a long list of videos of me and Lauren came up.
I saw that there was a newly posted video that had only been up about 4 hours. I clicked on it and watched every second, I took in every little bit detail. I noticed all the looks Lauren and I used to give each other. The connecting between us was so strong and if I was in the fandom I would definitely think we were a couple. The video was full of these clips of me and Lauren connecting so well, I could almost remember every single little one and the story behind it. I couldn't help but smile at the memories we have together.
As I got to the last few seconds of the video that's when I felt my eyes welling up. This fan has obviously noticed the distance between me and Lauren recently, the last line of the song playing in the background was 'now everything has changed' with new clips of Lauren and me being distant. I couldn't keep the tears back any more and I sobbed and sobbed, everything has changed and I was the one who did it. I had ruined mine and Lauren's friendship.

The video camila watches is
http://youtu.be/y3NUSl8JCQs
If that didn't work type in 'Camren-words apart' and it should come up:)
Let me know what you think so far it means to world:)