If only you knew (Camren)

Chapter 15

Lauren's POV
"I...I" was all Camila managed to get out before the other 3 girls including our manager barged through the door.
"Girls! What are you playing at?!" He shouted at us. "This is your last performance for a while and you both run off stage!" Both me and Camila stood there and looked ashamed about what had just happened. "Look, I'm sorry for shouting but please get back on the stage and finish off the show we have a tight schedule if you want to be at home for Christmas" we both nodded in sync, she took my hand in hers and squeezed it tight. "I will tell you later I promise" she told me and I could tell that she meant it because of the look in her eyes. I nodded, let go of Camila's hand quickly and cleaned my face up in the mirror before grabbing Camila's hand and we both ran back onto the stage full of energy. "Erm well I'm sorry about that little breakdown there guys, I just got a bit emotional but it's okay, nothing serious!" I said into my mic trying to calm the confused audience. "Tell you what, why don't we perform one last song to make up for that little incident" camila suggested looking at the band behind us asking for agreement. They nodded and quickly sorted out a song, they played the intro and us girls knew what song it was immediate. The intro for sledgehammer stated to come through the speakers from the different instruments on the stage and the 5 of us sang our hearts out for the last show before Christmas.
When we finished the song we said our goodbyes and thank yous to the fans then made our way to the bus which would would be taking us to the airport. We wasn't going to see each other for 2 weeks because of christmas but luckily for me and camila we live like half an hour away from each other so we can see each other everyday if we wanted to.
The walk to the bus was silent but not awkward, as much as I wanted to tell the other 2 girls why i ran off stage crying I couldn't, and not now I know camila feels the same way too. We need to talk about what's going on and then decide if we tell the girls or not. After we shared that kiss im sure some good will come from that for now on.
We all entered the bus and I decided to break the silence. "Hey guys" I said getting all eyes on me. "Im sorry about what happened, I just got really emotional but everything is okay now,
More than okay actually" I admitted and saw Camila grinning to herself and slightly blushing. Even though I was happy I was still curious as to what Camila is going to tell me
"It's okay Lauren" ally said while placing an arm on my shoulder
"we all have bad days" Normani added to ally's sentence.
"You're okay now right? The old Lauren is back?" Dinah questioned me smirking. I laughed to myself "yeah the old Lauren is back" I told her raising an eyebrow.

"Guys I hope you don't mind, but I think me and Lauren need to talk about what happened and sort things out so we are gonna go into the back of the bus, do you think you can all stay in the front till we come out?" Camila asked the girls and looked at me for agreement. I nodded at her and the other girls all agreed. As I walked to the back of the bus I got a text form Dinah
"Yeah...talk ;)" I shot her a look before I shut the door behind me. The last thing I saw was Dinah laughing about her little message, now I am alone with Camila again and I'm guessing I will find out this little secret of hers.
We both looked at each other and smiled "I fucking missed you Lo" she said getting teary eyed. "I missed you too Camz" I told her and pulled her into a big hug. We held each other for a good minute or two while sobbing on each other's shoulders. Once we calmed down a bit I spoke up "What did you want to tell me Camz?" I asked her looking her straight into her eyes. She looked at me and told me to sit down. Once we were seated she took hold of my hands as well as a deep breath, I heard her breath catch as she breathed out almost like she was afraid of what she was going to tell me.
"Promise you won't tell the other girls? I will tell them soon but I just want this between us at the moment, I need to find the right time to tell them first" she asked me
"Yeah I promise" I reassured her
"You promise you won't see me any different?" She asked yet another question
"Yeah I promise" I repeated
"You promise not to be mad at you for not telling you straight away?" she asked. I raised my eyebrows at her and wondered what else she would want me to promise
"that's a lot of promises... but I promise to every single one of those" I told her while squeezing her hands tighly. She looked at the ground for a moment, then back up at me, her brown eys locked onto my green ones. She took one last deep breath before she finally spoke.
"I.... I errm have....cancer" she said, her eyes filling with tears as she spoke the 3 words that shatterd my heart into millions of little fragments. I didn't know what to say or what to do so I just sat there unable to do anything. Our eyes never left one another but neither of us spoke a word. I could tell she was wanting me to do or say something but I felt paralyzed, I physically couldn't do anything apart from cry adn cry.
"Lauren...say something please" Camila begged as she tried to calm her own tears. She pulled me into a hug and we both cried in each others arms once again for the second time today. I never stopped crying but I managed to ask a few questions once my uncontrolable sobs turned into slight tears.
"How long have you known?" I asked her softly
"About 5 months now" she replied looking down obviously feeling guitly for not telling me
"Camz, why didn't you tell me as soon as you found out?" I asked putting my arm around her and cuddling as close as I could to her.
"I was scared, I didnt want to admit to myself that I am sick, and I didnt want to worry you"
"I really wish you would of told me" I told her while gently stroking her upper arm
"I wish I did too. Thats also the reason I was ignoring you too, when you told me you loved me I didnt want to hurt you by dying on you so I kept my distance trying to get rid of those feelings for you so it wouldnt hurt as much when I do die" she admitted
"Who said you are going to die Camz, it is treatable right?" I asked feeling my heart beating twice its usual pace.
"They don't know yet, they need to do more tests yet, I have an appointment when we get back in Miami for some tests" she answered
"Can I go with you?" I asked the younger one
"You seriously want to come with me?" She asked me sounding quite shocked
"Yeah, I want to be there for you every step of the way and I mean that Camz" I told her looking her straight in the eyes so she knew I was being serious
"Okay, you can come with me" She answered quickly. I smiled at her and she smiled back but even throught the smile I was dying inside. The love of my life has cancer and there is nothing I can do to prevent that.
We lay on the sofa in the back of the bus in a comfortable silence until Camila finally broke it
"I love you Lo" She told me
"I love you too Camz" I replied and looked down at the girl in my arms who had again tears running down her cheeks. I wiped them off her face with the pad of my thumb and cupped her cheek with my hand. She placed her hand over mine and slowly shut her eyes
"Are you tired?" I asked her
"Yeah I am actually" she admitted
"Well then little Camzy, you are sleeping in my bunk tonight" i said while standing up.
"Come on" I said to her while pulling her up to her feet. She quickly stood but maybe a little to quick because he face crashed into mine leaving us both holding out heads in pain
"You head is hard!" She complained
"Yeah so is yours!" I said to her laughing at what just happened. She shook her head and started laughing herself.
We finally got ready and told the girls we was going to go to bed early because we were both tired and we exchange our goodnights before we got into the small space which we would be sleeping in.
We didn't talk much we just lay in each other's arms until we fell asleep. That's the way I was to spend my nights for the rest of my life, but the thought that might not be able to happen really crushes my heart but only time will tell what happens.