Story of us » m.e

2.1

Lia Valentine~

Have you ever felt so worthless that you don't even want to be on this earth anymore? I have. It's an awful feeling and it makes me want to puke.

You know you feel like that when you are laying in a bed with no lights , no music , no friends just stairing at the ceiling. I never once found a ceiling so intriguing.

Especially a hospital bed , which is where I lay right now. How is it that Nurses are buzzing around me , yet I feel so alone?

"Ms.Valentine." , a nurses voice called.

I looked up with no emotion. "Your free to go." She said In a quiet voice. I nodded , standing up and putting on my clothes from before.

"Mr.Espinosa would like to talk to you." She said.

I don't want to talk to matt right now. I know what's coming.

Lots and lots of questions.

I decide to just text him.

Me: I don't know what happened. Going to go home and get some rest.

Matt: okay , I love you. When you come back to visit , I really want to know what happened.

Me: I love you too and I'll tell you when I visit 💕💞

I took a big breath and sighed , running my hand through my messy hair. I have to make up a lie.

"Or you could be honest?" Melanie's voice rang through my head as she stood in the corner of the room with her finger to her lips.

I can't. I thought back.

"Yes you can. He won't leave you , I can see into his mind too." She said , making my jaw drop in confusion and shock.

But that would mean ...... That he's ......

"Schizophrenic? No. " she said. I raised my eyebrows confused.

"I'm your guardian angel , remember?" She said , annoyed with me not remembering her purpose.

I nodded slightly once I saw the nurses weren't looking at me.

Of course , I remember.

"Good. I thought you forgot about me." She said with a sigh of relief.

"Ms.Valentine , you can leave now." The nurse reminded me. I shot up and flew out the door as quick as I could. I could hear Melanie's slow footsteps walking behind me. They sounded like rain as they made a soft sound against the hard hospital floor.

I looked down at my bright cast on my wrist in discomfort. This is only the second cast I've ever had. The last one was in 3rd grade when I was pushed off the top of the playground. I had broken my elbow that day.

I let out a jagged breath as I saw it was now pouring out. I don't want to wait and be either attacked by fans or have to talk to matt about my break down.

I decide to just walk. It's easier for me and probably for matt too so he wouldn't have to hear the bad news about my mental health.

My phone made a bing noise , causing me to jump. I pulled it out of my pockets and opened it.

Flash flood warning.

I began to walk , each step causing me to get more and more sad by the second. I thought about life and my insanity.

I know I have to leave soon , I just don't know what to say in my goodbye note.

I look up at the sky as I hear the shocking noise of thunder crackle across the sky. The streets were vacant unfortunately.

I felt an eerie feeling creep up my spine as I heard footsteps behind me. I turned my body , but could not see anything in the dark rainy night.

I shook the eerie feeling and walked into a near by coffee shop. I want shelter so that I don't get hurt or kidnapped again.

"Can I see a pen and a few pieces of paper , please?" I asked the waitress. She nodded and handed me the papers and pen.

I thanked her before finding a seat at a booth. I don't know what to say as goodbye to my great friends who I am going to miss so much.

I start to write , fighting the urge to burst out into ears.

Dear Hayes ,
I'm sorry , I'm so sorry. I want to be there for you and watch you grow up to be an amazing person , but I can't. I need to leave and I'm pretty sure you know part of the reason why. Jack's still out there and I don't want your young life at risk. The biggest reason is something only Jack knows... I am insane. I have a rare brain disorder called Schizophrenia which is basically imagining things (people) who aren't real. Yes , I have demons and they tell me to the craziest things.. Hayes , I want you to not be sad about this and just live your life with a beautiful girl. Just know , this is for the best. I love you little brother. Sincerely ,.... Lia Valentine.

I let a few tears fall onto the paper before I began to write Nash's letter.

Dear Nash ,
If your wondering where I am right now , well I ran away. I wish I could stay and be your best friend forever , but I can't. I have to leave this place. It's eating me alive. I feel like everyday I'm getting more sick in the head. I'm reaching the point of insanity as my disorder takes over me. I have Schizophrenia and which means I see people who aren't real and they are known as my demons and one is my angel.I also have various other disorders such as anorexia , bulimia , depression , anxiety , ect. This is all sparked from when I was kidnapped as a young kid. I'm sorry I didn't tell, you this before but I know you guys would think of me as a freak. I hope to see you again someday , I love you. Sincerely , Lia Valentine.

Dear Paul ,
I'm going to miss you so much. You are my bubble buddy and my body guard. I can't imagine being reunited with matt without you. You gave me such good advice. By the way , a girl will come your way soon. I know of it. She will be beautiful. I hope you aren't sad about me leaving , I will visit you soon. Very soon. Thank you , thank you , thank you for being my best friend. Your an amazing person , with a huge heart. I love you boo. Sincerely , Lia Valentine.

Dear cameron,
I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in awhile. You must have been a wreck after the accident. I'm sorry for leaving Virginia like that too. I guess that's what I do ..... Runaway from my problems. I know by now your 21st birthdays coming up and you've gone pretty far with your girlfriend , Lauren (Giraldo). I wish you too the best and I promise I will go to your wedding when you arrange one. By the way , I know you think Nash hates you now. He doesn't , he actually really misses you. I expect you to understand why I'm doing this... I told you everything a few months back on the phone . Well , it came back. I don't want to go an insane asylum and I don't want to hurt you or any of my other friends. Anyways , I love you and I hope you aren't sad about me leaving. It's for the best. Sincerely , Lia Valentine.

I took a deep breath as I came to the last piece of paper a not I would be dreading to write...... Matt's note.