You're My Bullying Cure

18. Introducing Me

Song for this chapter:
I Don't Even Know Your Name - Shawn Mendes

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Noelani's pov
'Dear Noelani,

I just wanted to write you a letter because it seems as if me speaking to you isn't such a good option. So I thought maybe putting what I want to say on paper is a better option? Sorry about my handwriting though.

So, my name is Connor Franta, I'm almost sixteen and my birthday is the 12th September. I enjoy photography, reading, listening to music, going for runs, being lazy, playing games and watching movies. I am obsessed with cats and dogs, talking to people and being happy. But I can tell you more about that boring stuff later if you like?

I want to get to the point of this letter and why I am trying to write it. I just want to let you know that I am not a bad person. I promise you I'm not. This isn't an act, I don't know those groups and I don't want to know them. I have heard them speaking about you. I have seen that horrible posters of you around the school... I am sorry you have to go through that.

I want to prove to you that there are nice people in this world, I know you probably haven't come across many if you are scared of people. And that's okay, I'm not saying it is a bad thing to be worried, I would be too if I were in your shoes. I am aware I may have come across quite alarming when we first met, I didn't mean to, I am just curious about you. You're not like other people, you are different.

It's a good different. And not a different because you are in care or you have no one you can trust. I mean you are different with personality and being you. I want to learn more about you, but only if you want me to. I can keep my curiosity and questions to myself. I didn't mean to ask you a million questions or to follow you out to the field, I just wanted to know if you were okay.

I am not asking for you to take me as a friend or someone you can trust. Because I know that will take a lot of time and a lot of effort, but I am willing to wait and put in that effort if you would like me to. I just want you to realise that I am a good person and I'm not horrible like the others. I also want you to know that if you need someone to speak to, shout at, cry to, I am always here. I just want you to give me a little chance to prove to you that I am good.

You're gorgeous by the way. I don't know why I put that but it is true. Jack told me you never get compliments or things from others. Everything you have is because of yourself and you saving up. I thought I would buy you flowers just because... Because I wanted to. A girl deserves to be treated nice every once in a while. And it's also part of my apology.

I just want one chance. If you can, I would love a reply, even it it is a single word telling me no. I just want to know that you have been able to read my terrible handwriting and coped with my failure for words.

Stay strong,

~Connor'

I re-read the letter a few times, trying to fully understand it before I do anything else. I grab some paper and a pen and think of what to write. I guess he really isn't so bad but I am still scared of him. Only because he wrote me a letter and said he isn't mean doesn't mean it's the truth. But I don't want to be horrible because he could have just knocked on the door, asked for me and beaten me up with words. I stare at the letter and my blank piece of paper.

'Dear Connor,

Thank you for the letter and the flowers. I am not good with words face to face... I guess you may have noticed that when you came round. I'm sorry, I was determined you were going to throw a punch or throw me down with words. But I guess... I guess you are better than that. I hope so anyway...