You're My Bullying Cure

41. Not What I Wanted

Song for this chapter:
Give Your Heart A Break - Demi Lovato

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Connor's pov
Noelani barely looked at me throughout school. She didn't even look at Troye or Tyler. I didn't want to break up with her... I don't know why the fuck I did because I have broken her more than anything. Ricky pressured me to, he was threatening to hurt her, not just the normal stuff either, to really hurt her. He also threatened to hurt me and Troye and Tyler and the rest of my friends that aren't my old friends like Jc and Kian. He is stronger than me and he is sneaky when he wants to be and I knew I wouldn't of been able to protect her from him. So I had to leave her.

When I was saying all of the bullshit to her yesterday... Even when she came in to the cafe I could tell she was frightened. And then when I was speaking I could see every part of her that was good, become broken. Her eyes fell from my face, I could see her eyes turn glossy and tears swelling up. When I said that we were over my heart broke too but not as much as Noelani's. I had to go before I would cry and mostly because Ricky was signalling me to leave. I left her there, broken hearted, alone and everyone staring at her. The entire time I felt horrible, I still do now.

Then Ricky got hold of my phone and forced me to go on facebook and let out all of her secrets otherwise he would of told everyone my own. And now I wish I never said anything that Noelani said to me. She trusted me... Plus my secrets aren't even worth keeping, they were just dumb things. I saw Ricky showing her the statuses in the corridor. I heard her trying to say I was still good but Ricky cut her off and said things and I hear her crying. She walked straight past me, not even acknowledging my existence, yet I deserved it.

And now, Ricky is dragging me to starbuck for a 'well deserved coffee'. I don't even know why I see him as a 'friend'. He is nothing like how he use to be. He was a good kid and now he is the total opposite and so much worse. One of the barista's catch my attention. Her hair is brown and slightly curled, she looks gorgeous. I can tell Ricky is checking her out too. She is pretty but not as pretty as Noel...

The girl turns around and it is her. It's Noelani. Wearing the starbucks uniform and her hair neatly curled up into a girl styled quiff. Her make up isn't how she normally has it but she still looks amazing. She spots me and freezes up. She see's Ricky next to me and I see her gulp. Ricky scowls and kicks a table.

"What the fuck is she doing her?" He asks me.

"She works here I guess." I say, playing the dumb card.

I know she works here, I was the one to get her acceptance letter. I was the one who told her she got the job and started today. I forgot because I was too busy worrying about her. Ricky orders and Noelani walks around us, avoiding us as she collects mugs and plates. Ricky goes upstairs and I pretend to go to the bathroom. I see Noelani near the back and I neaten my shirt and walk over. She walks past me and I lightly grab her arm.

"Let go of me." I hear her squeak.

"Listen, I..." I start.

"I don't want to hear it. I saw your statuses. I am leaving you alone, I don't want to be a clingy bitch like you said so." She says shaking me off of her.

"I didn't want..." I begin.

"I am working... Connor. I don't want to know what you have to say. I don't believe anything that comes out your mouth. Go and enjoy your coffee with your best friend." She says as tears sting her eyes.

She walks away quickly and I stare after her. I just wanted to explain... I am still in love with her, I never stopped loving her. I never will, I want to be with her. I just don't know how, not without Ricky knowing and hurting her. I go upstairs and see Ricky.