You're My Bullying Cure

35. Body Negativity

Song for this chapter:
Warrior - Demi Lovato
Don't Be Afraid - Green River Ordinance

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Noelani's pov
I wake up to my alarm going off and I get changed into some comfy clothing. I have a wash and go back up to my room to get my phone and my ipod. I decide to text Connor a quick birthday message before I have to leave for the hospital

'Happy birthday to my bestest friend! I hope you have a great day! I'll see you soon! I love you! ~Noelani <3'

I send it to him and Jack comes into my room. I remember what he said to me yesterday, that I am fighting for the wrong person. I still have no idea what he means about that and now I have remembered, it is starting to bug me. He leans against the door frame as I grab my stuff.

"You ready to go and get those bandages taken off?" He asks me.

"No, I don't want to see how much uglier I am now. Can I just be a mummy forever?" I say walking past him.

"No, you can't." He says following me.

We go to the hospital with Zoe, Naomi and Caspar. They insisted on coming too, for support I guess. We arrive and Natalie and Nate will be taking my bandages off. Which also means I have to be a bit nude... That's because my entire body is pretty much fucked. I cringe at the thought of them seeing me in just a hospital gown. They both greet me and then they take me into another room. All up a sudden, I feel every single shitty emotion rush to me, I also feel like I could throw up. I feel awkward, nervous, scared, anxious, frustrated, embarrassed and about twenty others.

"I'm going to be doing your arms and legs, Natalie will do your chest and stomach so it's not awkward for you if I were to do it." Nate says.

"Do you want someone to be here with you?" Natalie asks me.

"No, I just want this over and done with." I say feeling nervous with a side of frightened.

"Okay, we'll need you to take your clothes off." Natalie says.

I look over at Nate and he turns around and so does Natalie. I know they will have to look at me anyway but it will make me feel less awkward if they wasn't looking at me when get undressed. I cough awkwardly when it's just me and my mummified body. They both turn around and smile. They let me sit on a bed and they stand either side. Nate undoes the bandages on my legs and I look away, too scared to look at the burn marks. I hear them move uncomfortably so I know it's bad.

I close my eyes as I feel cold air against my skin. It's making my skint burn as it's been wrapped up and well covered for two or more weeks. One of my legs are done with as I feel the other leg being fiddled with. Both legs are done with and now it's my arms and hands. I feel them both being done. I bite into the inside of my bottom lip as it hurts and aches. The constant tug of my skin and them moving my limbs and touching me as they unravel it all. They do my hands and it feels weird to be able to have total control of my hands, I just don't want to look at them... I don't want to see what I have to live with.

I hear a door open and close and I freeze uplinking that someone else has come in the see what is going on.

"It was only Nate leaving. It's just us two. Do you want to look at me as I do so?" Natalie asks me softly.

I shake my head with my eyes still closed and I feel the bandages becoming loose around my chest and tummy. I feel the bandages being pulled off me completely and I cringe now as I am basically naked apart from my lower region being covered. My skin can breathe again but I feel like I physically can't breathe. I want to look but I can't because I'm too scared.