You're My Bullying Cure

49. Weird But Personal

Song for this chapter:
Work Song - Hozier
Butterflies - Sia

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Tyler's pov
We get back to mine and mum puts dinner in front of us both. We eat it quickly as we are starving and afterwards Noelani goes to take a shower. I do more homework and I see a small stack of work for Noelani to do. I get changed into a Tigger onesie and Noelani knocks on my bedroom door. I call her in and she comes in wearing a Piglet onesie. We both laugh slightly at our similar onesies and Noelani sits next to me. She see's the stack of work for her to do and we decide to have an hour or two to do some school work.

Noelani helps me out with my maths homework and she is amazing at explaining things. She explains it in ways that I can understand it. Teachers use really professional words that confuse me and Noelani uses them too but explains what the words actually mean. I get on with it and she does too. We both finish our two hours of work and Noelani makes a small stack of what she has now done

We lay next to each other on my bed. We don't say anything for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's company and the silence. I can sense Noelani wanting to ask me questions. I notice her lips twitching a little and small sighs when she can't get the question to pass her lips.

"Ty... This is a weird question... And personal but... Have you lost it? Your v- virginity?" She asks, stuttering and stalling as she asks me.

I am taken by her question but I don't mind answering as it's her. She is easy to talk to.

"Yes, I have." I answer her truthfully.

"This question is weirder... But... What was it like? Don't answer if you don't want to." She says, playing with her hands as we stay laid down.

"It was... It was scary at first. I mean, you start just kissing and feelings being normal as you do so. But then you get a weird feeling in your stomach. It's no longer their lips you want to feel. You want to feel the rest of them. You kind of just get lost in the moment and one thing leads to another. But it is enjoyable in ways, it makes you feel good I guess." I answer her, remembering the night with Troye.

"O- okay... Did you lose it before you came out or after?" She asks.

"I lost it after I came out." I say, looking over at her to see her cheeks slightly pink as she gazes up at the ceiling.

"Have you ever kissed a girl?" She asks, eyes still on the ceiling.

"No, never." I say.

"You know you get that feeling in your stomach? What is the feeling like?"

"It's feels empty, like a pit but then it becomes full with butterflies and electricity. Your mind becomes static like a TV screen and you thoughts are everywhere until they set onto something. Your skin feels tingly and ticklish. You tense up under their touch. Lot's of thing happen, you just need to feel them, more than their lips." I say looking back up at the ceiling.

I see her nod a little through the corner of my eye.

"How did you feel?" She whispers.

"I felt invincible. Like nothing could stop me, on top of the world. I was floating and I felt in love. I felt like I had blossomed. I felt so different but in a good different." I say with a small smile on my face.

"Okay." She says silently.

"Why are you asking anyway?" I ask her.

"It doesn't matter." She says not looking at the ceiling.

"Please tell me." I say moving onto my side and facing her.

"I don't really know... I guess I just feel weird with Connor. Not a bad weird, like I want to go further but I don't know how. I can sense that he is ready, I can tell he is because he tries. But I am too scared... I mean, what if afterwards he regrets it? He regrets being with me or I wasn't what he wanted? I don't know if I would be what he would want...