You're My Bullying Cure

62. Telling Connor

Songs for this chapter:
Love In The Dark - Adele
Cut - Plum
Remedy - Adele

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Noelani's pov
It's halfway through April now and I only have a week to send off my form for the University of Cambridge. I have told everyone apart from Connor. He hasn't been the same, he has been distracted and he has barely been with me. At lunchtime he is in the gym or doing some type of pe. After school he is either swimming or practising for the big game after prom. I am fine with that, I understand that he has to do well. But afterwards he always says he is tired and during the weekend he stays at home because his body aches. The times he is actually here with me, he is awake for half an hour and he falls asleep.

The last time he actually kissed me was in Michigan... The night we had sex and before I was told my family have been seeking for revenge. He hasn't been connecting with me, barely talking, hanging out, he doesn't even text me that much. Only to see if we are walking to school. Only then we might hold hands. I try talking to him but he either isn't interested or replies with grunts or asks if we can do something. It's such a struggle because I feel so disconnected. The only thing he talks about is sports, school or Australia. He doesn't talk about us, about how I'm doing.

He hasn't stayed over night for two months. The nightmares have been getting worse and my anxiety has been too. Troye and Tyler have been trying to talk to Connor but he is the same to them as he is with me.

He is coming over now, only because I have told him it is important. I am telling him about England, hoping he will maybe communicate with me and support me. Open his eyes and realise that in a few months he will be in Australia and that we have no plan. No way of working together and making the relationship work. I sit in the quiet room, waiting for the knock until I hear it. He comes in, smiling and he sits next to me. He hugs me, doesn't kiss me or my cheek.

"Hey, what is this important thing we must talk about?" He asks.

Even that hurts, the fact he feels like he's being made to speak to me.

"It's about a uni I want to go to." I say, shaking a little.

"Okay?" He says, not that bothered.

I pass him the papers and he looks at me, rolls his eyes and reads them. His facial expressions change and I don't like the look or the way his hands are now holding the letters.

"This is to go to England." He says, giving them back.

"Yeah... It's a great opportunity for me. I will get to do courses in music, writing and they have recently seen my artwork and photography so both of those too." I say, now scared as his body language is changing.

"So, what are you going to do?" He asks me.

"I don't know, I want to know if you will support me if I do go and if we can work something out, to keep up together." I say shyly.

"You want to know if I will support you leaving me?" He asks, anger in his voice.

Did he really just ask me that? To ask if it is okay for me to go somewhere and leave him? He is leaving me behind if I decide to not go.

"No... I want to know if you will support me if I go to this university. Connor I won't be leaving you, we will work something out to keep us togeth..." I get interrupted by him hitting the couch.