Wanting to be loved (Zuko)

35.

'No they can't heal it anymore. It took too long. And I don't want to see them right now. I will find my way back to them eventually.' I say and sit up. 'If that is what you want then you can keep us company' Iroh smiled at me. 'Thank you, that would be lovely' I turn around and take off my shoes and hold my feet in the water.

Zuko sat beside me and Iroh walks away to give us some privacy. 'Why didn't you use your bending to escape from me the first time?' he asks 'As I said I never bended in front of anyone. Gran-gran knew but I don't know how but she never said anything to anyone and I was grateful for it. I did not dare to use my bending in the tribe because I was afraid what everyone would say. I heard them say one time that it was good that I couldn't bend because I didn't deserve it.' I told him.

'How did you get your burns' I ask him to change the topic. 'Zhao tried to kill me using those pirates' he said angry. 'Luckily he failed. And now he can't hurt no one anymore' 'I always thought that fire was destruction and water healed and brought life. But you showed me different' he was referring to me killing Zhao.

'I think every element can do bad and good' I tell him. 'Can I see your back?' he asks and I nod. I turned my back to him and pull up my shirt so he could see my scarred back. I heard him gasp. The scar was pretty big it almost covered my whole back. I feel his fingertips softly against the skin that is untouched and it made me shiver, in a good way. He helped me put down my shirt and I turned to face him again.

He was looking back and forth between my eyes and my lips not knowing what to do. It was like he had a battle with himself and I only smiled. He kept going like this and then made his decision and leaned over and pulled me closer to him and I was now on his lap. His hands moved up and down my sides trying to avoid my burn as much as possible his hands came to the front but he avoided touching my breasts. He kept up the back and forth looking and I just looked at his eyes. I leaned over and heard him hold his breath I went past his lips and was now beside his ear.

'What are you so afraid of Zuko?' I whispered in his ear and I felt him holding me tighter then I gave him a little kiss just under his ear. He pushed me back a little and then his lips came crashing onto mine. If possible he held me tighter and I wrapped my arms around his neck. One of his hands is on my butt and the other one between my shoulder blades because that is a place I'm not burned. I hear something and push Zuko back. Then I see Iroh coming outside and he smiled at me. I gave him a little smile back and got off of Zuko's lap.

'Is your proposal, about me learning how to use the sai, still standing?' I ask him. 'Well if you would like, I don't think it is necessary though' 'I just want to learn more things than just bending. If there is no water around I will have a problem that's one thing you don't have' meaning that fire benders can use their fire everywhere if they keep themselves warm enough. 

'You are right we will begin when we get a place to stay' he tells me and walks away again. 'Why do you want to learn from him. You can use them already' Zuko asks me 'I can use them as regular knives not as what they're made of and it never hurt to learn more you know. You should go to sleep. Being in that sort of temperature for that long as a fire bender is hard on you' is all I say to him and turn away from him and sit down again in the same spot as before.

'Did something happen with that Sokka kid?' he asked. I keep looking at the water 'The girl who now represents the moon spirit, you saw her right?' I don't wait for his answer 'Sokka liked her, like really liked her. I think he even loved her and she liked him back' I grab some water and bend it a little to distract me. 'And I had done some thinking. My guess is that he never really saw me as a friend and that deep down without him knowing he still hated me for who I am'.

I said while freezing and melting the water in my hands. I hear him getting closer and he sits behind me with my back against his chest and he holds me in his arms. 'I told Aang about my father and he told me that he won't hate because of that. Because I can't chose who my parents are. And he knows me for a few months now and Sokka knows me my whole life and still can't live with it. I just have to forget about him' and I rested my head against Zuko's shoulder.

I took some water again and just moved it around. He held me tighter and kissed my neck. I felt very loved right now and was glad I decided to go with them. I needed time to let Sokka go. In my mind I already did but my heart didn't follow as quick.

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