Drowning- A Conor Maynard Love Story

Chapter 35- 'You're The Reason That I Breathe'

Chapter 35- 'You're The Reason That I Breathe'

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.”~ William Shakespeare

He never came home last night. I was up until six in the morning waiting for him. Waiting to hear his voice. Waiting for him to join me in bed. Waiting for him to wrap his secure arms around me and coat me in his scent and warmth. I was up all night waiting and I got nothing. No text or call. He never replied nor answered his phone. After a while he switched his phone off. Tiredness took control just after six that is why I am currently sitting on the couch with my feet up, in a baggy jumper staring at the door. It is currently just 12:30 PM and he still hasn't returned. I don't understand what I done to hurt him so much that he wouldn't come back home to me. What I done to maybe make him cheat on me. I sigh to myself and lean my forehead upon my knees. I can feel the tears forming again at just the thought of him being with another girl. The thought of his arms around her and vice versa. The thought of him kissing her and caressing her. The thought of him groaning in lust and want for her. Then the thought of him inside her hit inside my head and I feel the bile rising up my throat. I run up the stairs and into the bathroom. I throw up into the toilet. Once emptying the contents that were just inside my stomach I lean against the cold bathroom tiled walls and cry. I cry silently to myself. 

After a ten minutes of crying I focus on calming my breathing down. He may not have cheated Anna. You know he wouldn't. He just stayed at a friends. I recall him calling whoever was on the phone babe and the urge to vomit hit me again. I retch into the toilet but nothing is released. I get up to wash my face. I quickly brush my teeth and splash my face with cold water. Stop being ridiculous Anna. He loves you. After drying my face I quickly change my clothes and make my way down.

After settling down with some toast I decide to check my phone. I see a text from Austin and a grin breaks out onto my face.

Austin: Good morning beautiful! :). How is my bestie today? ;)

I quickly reply a good morning and a fine, not forgetting to ask about himself before I hear the front door open. My heart starts racing like crazy and I can feel the nerves settling in. Once again I can feel the tears forming. I leave the kitchen and walk towards the living room. I see Conor on the sofa looking exhausted. He has his eyes closed. I stare at him waiting for him to acknowledge me. I find myself standing there for a while with just silence speaking to me.

"Can I help you?" Conor's voice startles me and I find myself jumping a little. After building up courage I answer him back.

"Is that all you have you say?"

"Was I supposed to say something else?"

"Yeah, how about we start with where you were last night."

"Out."

"Out? Is that it Conor? You were missing the entire night! I was up waiting for you!"

"That's nice." He sighs an audible sigh.

"Do you not care at all? You didn't call nor text Conor! I was so damn worried about you!"

"Sorry."

"Sorry?! Is that all I get?!"

"Well what else do you want Anna?!" He startles with me with the raise in his voice; he stands up and faces me, "What the fuck do you want me to say?!"