Drowning- A Conor Maynard Love Story

Epilogue

Epilogue

“Baby, I can see your halo and you know you’re my saving grace. You’re everything I need and more, it’s written all over your face. Baby, I can feel your halo and I’m praying it won’t fade away.”~ Beyoncé

 

 

 

 

 

 

 A year later...

"Rest in peace Angel"

I stand up and make my way to the closed off sector of the cemetery. My knees feel weak and my head hurts. You can't back out now Anna. You have to do this. I walk up to the guards. Once he sees me he makes way for me walk past. I feel sick to my stomach and I feel my nerves settle in. Once in sight of the grave I stop dead in my tracks. The entire grave and the space around it has been covered in flowers. A huge pile of them. I take notice of how the other graves have flowers over them; probably his as well. I avert my eyes to the headstone. ‘In Memory Of Conor Maynard. 1992-2013. A great loss. Rest In Peace'

"You gotta excuse me, you see I went to Hannah's grave. It's been a while since I've been to her grave. It's been a while since I've been to yours hasn't it?" I place myself on the side of his grave, "I'm sorry. It's just that I've been so busy, but I know today I just had to come. It's been a year since you left me and I know I don’t deserve to cry or even deserve you but I miss you. I miss you so much Conor."

"I have no-one else left anymore. I know everyone blames me for your death. Honestly I blame myself too. If I never cheated... I'm sorry Con. I honestly am, but I'm being punished enough. The whole world blames me for your death but no-one has the guts to say it. No-one but Anth. He still hates me so much. He's tried not to blame me but he and I both know it's my fault. He still hasn't recovered. He is trying to move on but he's still in that dark place. I would have been there too if I didn't have a choice. I had to fix up. I wish you were still here Conor."

"Life without you has been hectic. Mikayla is happy though. She and Austin are great together with their baby boy. Austin has accepted that baby like his own. Jacob. That's his name, but I already told you that didn't I? He's growing up so fast. He's going to be one in three months. Where does time go eh? The two have been great to me. They try their best to accept me but I can still see it in their eyes; the accusations. Austin and I haven't been the same since."

"I don't know whether your family have come to see you yet but I'm sure they will. They are slowly getting there, but the paparazzi just don't help. You can guess how they are towards me. Whatever relation I had with them has dispersed. In their eyes I killed you. I was reading the paper a few weeks back and I read that Anna wanted to change her name because I have the same one. That's how much they hate me, but I won't bad mouth them. Your Mayniacs are siding with them. They still are devoted to you. Til this day they cry and mourn for you. They miss you Con."

"Armani... She hates me," my tears begin to fall at the thought of my friend, "She can't stand to be anywhere near me. I hate myself for what happened between me and Jake. I lost two people I love so much. I practically killed everything within her. She no longer trusts people. No-one. I'm scared sometimes that she will do something so drastic that the consequences will be irreversible. Then what? I will have two deaths on my hand."

"Kayla and Lucas... Probably the only two people that still accept me. I know it's out of pity but... Lucas proposed! He finally popped the question. I always told you them two will be together forever, didn't I? The wedding is next year in late August. I can't wait to attend. I can only imagine how grand and extravagant it will be. We all know how Lucas treats Kayla like a queen. Sometimes when I see them together it hurts because it reminds me of you and me. We were good together weren't we Conor? We were great together. All the silly stuff we used to do together," I feel a smile break out onto my face; I can’t remember the last time I smiled, "I remember everything Conor."