Drowning- A Conor Maynard Love Story

Chapter 54- Drowning

Chapter 54- Drowning

“I went looking for yesterday to drown in all our memories because I’d rather be there than here.”~ Conor Maynard

Anna’s POV

I close my eyes and allow myself to take a breather and just take everything in, but as I do the tears, that I just stopped, begin to run again and I find myself feeling that pound of guilt all over again. I bite my lip to try and stop the tears that I don’t deserve to shed. This is my fault. If I never cheated, if I never assumed, if I never did the most selfish thing ever… if I never ruined everything then he would still be here and we would be engaged after two years of being together.

If.

None of that is possible anymore though. Everything is over. I can’t change anything but I wish I could, but I can’t. Everyone hates me. I just know it but I don’t blame them. Not at all. Armani has avoided me like the plague and I’ve noticed her and Jake are staying away from each other as much as possible. That’s your fault too Anna. But I don’t care. I know how selfish of me that is but I don’t. I’ve lost the best thing that has ever happened to me. He was everything to me but he’s gone. I look up at the black sky, indicating that it has gone way past midnight. The hospital is still busy. A woman screaming brings me back to reality.

She has her arms wrapped around a young man’s shoulder. I see she has a massive bump but I also don’t miss the tears streaming down her face. Her partner, or whoever he is, is telling her to take deep breaths. She’s in labour. I watch as they make their way inside. As I turn away from them the tears brim again. You don’t deserve to cry. A part of me wonders if that would have been me or Conor one day; ready to have our child. A ghost smile appears on my face as I think about a mini Conor running around the house with Conor running after him. I can imagine myself scolding at the pair of them to eat their vegetables before dessert or catching them out when they try and sneak some chocolate biscuits in the middle of the night. Without being able to stop them, tears stream down my face. I wipe at them wanting to be strong. I can’t show weakness.

A breeze passes me and I shudder. I look back up at the sky and see a particular star shining. It reminds me of the twinkle in Conor’s eye when he is up to something. I raise three fingers to my lips and kiss them. I then salute them to the sky- to that star. “Happy two year anniversary Con.”

I feel two familiar arms wrap around me and automatically I know whose they are. I lean into his touch as he kisses the top of my shoulder. A smile appears on my face as the butterflies erupt in my stomach from his little action. His voice echoes in my eyes, “Happy anniversary baby.” He kisses my cheek.

“I thought you left me Con.” My voice shakes.

“I’d never leave you. Do you understand? I promised to stick around so here I am. If I go anywhere I will be going with you. I love you Anna.”

“I love you too Conor.” I turn around to face him but come to face nothing. I look around frantic for Conor. Where has he gone? As my eyes search the darkness I come up with nothing. I call out for him but hear nothing in response. As realisation hits me I take a run for it.

He wasn’t real. Everything was fake. I hate this. I hate everyone. I hate him for leaving me. I run from the place that broke my entire world. Wanting to get home, to be alone I run for my house. I can feel myself running out of breath but that doesn’t stop me from running. However I am stopped when I see the flashing lights from the police cars. I hear all the chatter and whispers around me. Fans are all over the place, crying, being held back my tons of security men. I notice familiar faces but no one I really know. I make my way past a few of the yellow tape. A few people stop me but allow me to go after checking who I am. A police officer escorts me to the tape closes to the accident- opposite my house.