To Make You Fall In Love (Phan)

Chapter 39

Some cute PJ for you all xx

Phil's POV

Jenny rang Martyn. Jenny rang Martyn and now he's driving down from Scotland to come see me. She found me half an hour after I left the hospital, she pulled towards her car and drive me back to her house. She gave me hot chocolate. I didn't drink it. I just curled into a ball and cried myself to sleep whilst she sat stroking my back in soft, soothing circles.

Martyn showed up in the middle of the night. Jenny ran to get the door and a minute later I heard there hushed voices outside the door. I haven't seen Martyn since the weekend of mums funeral. Why was it he only showed up when it was something something horrible happens. I shook my head softly. The door opened and they walked in.

"Phil? Are you okay?" Martyn asked as he sat on the end of Jenny's bed.

"No. I don't think so," I say not moving.

"He'll be okay,"

"He might not be. He might never wake up. I might never get to talk to him again. See his eyes again. Hear his laugh," I say and begin sobbing again. Jenny is trying to sooth my again by stroking my hair softly.

"I'm so sorry Phil," Martyn says.

"Yeah. Me too. Do...do you think you could leave?" I say quietly. Martyn's quiet for a moment.

"If that's what you want," he says sounding surprised. "I'll be downstairs," and he gets up and leaves.

"Phil..." Jenny starts but I just shake my head and curl myself tighter together and drift off to sleep.

I don't wake up until 1 the next day. Martyn slept on the sofa and Jenny slept on the floor beside me holding my hand and reaching up to sooth me every time I woke crying or had a nightmare.

I sit up on her bed and she comes and sits besides me handing me a chocolate bar.

"Jenny...what do I do?" I ask helplessly.

"Isn't it obvious silly? You just need to go to the hospital and sit and talk to him and tell him how much you love him and you have to pray to God that he gets better and that he wakes up. You just need to be there for him. Be there and keep wishing that he'll be okay. And maybe it will be," she says taking a sip of her tea.

"I guess so, but I don't know weather I can face seeing him lying in that hospital bed, just-just like mum," I say hiccuping.

"Phil, you need to be brave right now. Because Dan needs you. He needs you baby and I know he'd be there for you if it was the other way round," she says. "So finish your chocolate and I'll get you a drink and drive you to the hospital," I nod silently and open the chocolate bar and taking a large bite. "And...Martyn? What do you want to do about him?"

"I don't know. Maybe...could you ask him to go home? I just...he's never really...helped. He doesn't seem like my brother. He doesn't come unless asked. Unless needed. He doesn't really care about me," I say softly.

"I'll ask him to leave but Phil he does care about you. He really does," she says and stands up and leaves the room. I quickly stuff he rest of my chocolate bar in my mouth and stand up and walk to her bathroom and splash some water on my face and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are round and puffy and red. I look tired. My hair is dishevelled. I look a mess.

I'm quiet as we drive to the hospital, Jenny keeps asking me things and I mumble simple responses or shake or nod my head. Eventually she stops trying. When we arrive at the hospital I dash out the car and into the hospital. I'm scared but now I'm here all I want to do is see him. I ask a nearby nurse where to go and she points me in the right direction. I run through the hospitals twisting corridor until I get to Dan's room, I take a deep breath then knock on the door.

"One second," I hear Julie say. Was she talking to Dan? Hope soars through me. Maybe he's awake. She opens the door and smiles. She looks much the same as me. Kind of lost. "Phil sweetie, are you okay?" She asks. She pulls me into a quick hug.

"Is he...awake?" I ask quietly.

"No... I'm sorry Phil. I...I really am, come in," she says and I walk inside. "You can still talk to him. The doctors say he might be able to hear you," she says softly closing the door behind us. I'm transfixed just staring at Dan. His skin is pale and sickly, his hair matted to his forehead. His hands limo by his side. I would've thought he was dead if his chest wasn't moving and rising slowly. "Do you want me to give you some privacy?" She asks kindly.

"I...um...yes please," I say softly and she nods and walks out. I look back at Dan and walk slowly to sit beside him.

"Oh Dan, what do I say? You might not be able to hear me. I really hope you can because I need you to know just how much you mean and just how much I wish you'd wake up. You made me happier than I've ever been and that means so much to me. I've told you so many times that I love you, and why but you're gorgeous and kind and sweet and funny and caring and clever and understanding and perfect and you chose me. That's something I'll never really understand, why you chose me. But you did and I'm so grateful. And I chose you. I chose you then. I'll chose you now. I'll keep choosing you. Over and over. And we have so much left to do Dan. So much. And you don't get to leave me now. Please," I begged my voice breaking and tears falling from my eyes. "You're the only thing holding me together. I can't live without you Dan. I can't, please baby. Please come back to me. Please. I love you. Please," I whispered and buried my head on the side of his bed grilling his hand tightly. "My dad rang me the other day. Said he heard about mum," I say lifting my head from the bed, "That he wants me to come live with him. In London. I can't say no. I'm only 17. He talked to a lawyer he has custody of my Dan. He comes to pick me up next week. He even got Martyn to agree to it. I don't want to leave Dan. I so don't want to leave but I just have to wait until my birthday, January 30th and I can come home. But there's no point coming home if you aren't here and I need you here Dan. You are everything to me right now. And I'm not going to survive the next month if I don't have you. I'm not going to survive the next week. Or day. Or hour. I need you Dan. So much more than I ever thought possible. So please baby, wake up, I love you,"

And then amazingly, miraculously his finger; moved.

And his eyes flickered.

And his mouth twitched.

"D-Dan?" I said urgently leaning toward.

Hoarsely and barely audible he spoke; "I-I love you too,"