semi-automatic ; j.d

fourty eight ; faking it

mia is struggling during the church service to not walk out.

joshua dun is here. literally sitting with four inches of space between us.

she knows that she should be thrilled to see him. in the perfect scenario, this would be the moment where mia sees him and she grins and they hug for the world's longest thirty seconds before he would pull back just a bit, so that he could brush his thumb against her cheek, and then he would say something cheesy like, long time no see, and then he would kiss her.

but unfortunately, mia and josh aren't broken up in the perfect scenario. so none of that happens.

instead, mia sits next to josh, avoiding his glances, as a nervous feeling pools in her stomach, knotting together like webs.

josh puts his hand on her knee. he's looking sideways at hers, waiting for to look back at him.

she looks so pissed, he thinks to himself. but it's exactly the expression that he was expecting.

"well, good luck," tyler had laughed when josh unveiled his plan to win mia back. because they have two off days before their last show of the tour, which is gonna be in columbus, and josh remembered mia telling him about her family's yearly thing of attending the easter sunday church service together, he decided that this would be his way in. i mean it wasn't like he could just show up at her apartment or something, no. that was too boring.

so as soon as the tour bus had arrived in columbus, josh had practically sprinted out of it, his dress shirt half done and his tie around his neck. he just couldn't accept the fact that things between him and mia were over. he knew that he wouldn't find a girl like her ever again, that if he let her go he was throwing away the best thing to ever happen to him.

'you're ridiculous,' mouths mia, shaking her head at him and pushing his hand away. she's missed his touch so badly, and her heart is aching for her to just let him back in. but she can't do that.

the very second the pastor dismisses the service, mia stands up from the pew and steps over josh's legs before he can protest. as he reaches out for her hand to stop her, she's already walking towards the doors at the back of the church.

"ouch," says eddie, his eyes following his sister. "that's rough, dude."

anthony leans forward and glances at josh with a raised eyebrow. this is the first time he's seeing him in person, as opposed to photos. "you're the boyfriend, right?"

he sighs heavily. "i'm working on it."

"mia, wait," josh calls out as he follows her out of the church, quickly going down the stone steps.

she doesn't turn around, which actually isn't that bad of a sight of he's being honest and-

okay, josh, now is not the time to be staring at her ass.

"come on. talk to me," he jogs over to catch up and stops in front of her.

mia looks up at him with conflicted eyes. "what do you want, josh?"

"you," he says, putting it very simply. he takes a step towards her, and when she steps backwards, a ping of pain shoots to his heart.

she sighs. "josh.."

"i'm in love with you," says the red haired boy with a protesting shake of his head. "and i don't care that you might hate me--"

"hate you?" mia repeats incredulously. she can't believe that he would think she feels like that. "that's the problem, josh, i don't hate you."

he gives her a confused look. "o-kay, well, how is that a problem?"

"because i'm supposed to. i'm supposed to want nothing to do with you, that's how breakups work!" she exclaims and takes another step backwards, putting more distance between them so that its easier for her to resist the urge to just grab him and kiss him.

josh looks down at his clean black shoes. but she said she didn't have feelings for me? "but you said you didn't have feelings for me."

mia shrugs her shoulders with exasperation, as if she's saying that she's fed up. "i lied."

"josh! it's so nice to see you!" gushes mia's mom while hurrying over to them.

okay, so mia may have forgotten to mention to her family that she broke up with josh.

josh is staring at mia with his mouth hanging open before he blinks back to reality. he can barely greet tatiana martinez before she pulls him into a warm hug and kisses his cheeks.

"nena, why didn't you tell me that josh was coming?" she tsks after pulling away, giving her daughter an upset look.

"i--"

"it's my fault," josh blurts out. "i wanted to surprise mia. she didn't know i was coming."

tatiana gives josh the 'you've officially gained my approval' look of adoration. "that's so sweet," she smiles before looking at mia. "i'm gonna go find your brothers, and then we can go, okay?"

"okay," she replies.

once mia's mom is out of earshot, josh reaches for mia's hand.

mia pulls away. "no, stop," she insists while taking another step away. "i'm not doing this. i can't."

he slowly returns his hand to his side. as mia turns around and starts walking away, he doesn't chase after her.

and she has every intention of not turning back around, that is until she remembers the fact that her mom is probably now expecting josh to be going back to the house for dinner.

"everyone thinks that we're still together," says mia, stopping in place. she turns around and looks at josh with a hesitant expression. "so you're gonna have to come over."

he nods his head, resisting the urge to grin. "okay."

"but no relationship talk. seriously, josh."

"promise," replies josh, tracing an x over his heart. i'm lying right through my teeth but oh well.

after a moment, mia sighs acceptingly  and nods. "okay, c'mon," she holds her hand out to him.

josh meets her where she's standing and slides his hand into hers. as soon as he laces their fingers, josh wonders if maybe everything can be alright again.

and even if mia doesn't want to talk about getting back together, josh isn't going to give up that easily.