A Million Miles And I'm Now Here

1.06.16

What the hell did I get myself in to. I talked to Kevin (recent ex) last night and early morning today. Ugh I feel like a little shit for doing that. I hate that I know him more anyone else and that he knows me as well also. Let's just hope this is all a dream. Well it isn't, we FaceTime each other and I got to see his smile it warmed me up a little. I just can't believe how much I used to love his boy and way he effects me. He knows about me more than my mom or my best friend. Well his internet was fucking up and tried to keeping the convo going. It reminds me of how we used to do this everyday. My mother called when we where talking and she knew. She knew I was talking to him. I knew she didn't want me talking to him after what happen we broke up. I was destroyed, lonely, going insane. Yeah that was me I wanted no one but him I tried talking to other people didn't seem to work. I met Jerome he loves me and I'm grateful for that. I hate how my mind is being twisted. I wish I could talk to him knowing that he's gonna sleep throughout the whole night so I need to entertain myself until I go crazy.