A Million Miles And I'm Now Here

2.19.16

I bought a promise ring last night. I bought it to promise myself to stay happy and that when things do go down always to stay hopeful. I'm trying to hope that things get better for myself. Although I feel hurt and not want to be here most of the time I think it's a better way to start fresh. Yes I'm sad 70% of the time. Yeah I know that I need help. But at least I'm trying. I don't want anyone to worry about me. I know people care. It's just better off if people didn't know what I'm going through.

I feel like complete shit. I've cried maybe 3 times with in an hour and my mom has no idea. She says I'm being mean but I don't want her bothering me. I wanna puke, cry and cut. Just about everything I don't want myself to do while tears roll down my face I want to suffocate and not have to live with the pain. I'm so sick of being emotionally tired I want to puke every time I feel like I give up. Tonight is just one of them. I'm in so much pain and I doubt anyone realizes it. It hurts like it's unbearable just how I fell and the corner of a bleacher smack me on my shoulder blade so I have a swore right blade.