A Million Miles And I'm Now Here

1.25.16

Another day in study hall, when I just got here I was texting Sheldon seeking some guidance. We talked last night helping me feel better with a mix of laughter. I let him sleep and soon later I passed out. I was in anatomy when Jerome texted, I wanted to start crying. All the thoughts of last night rushed in my head. I tried to keep cool. I told him we could stop talking for a week. I thought it would be best for us if we didn't text or skype maybe this mess would go away. As is a dark cloud passed by. I have this app and it's called Ask Fm and someone had asked me a question "do you have a boyfriend" I didn't really answer because I have no idea who it was so I said just "why do you need to know" and then this morning I got another two more questions " because you're really pretty" and I just responded " thank but who are you?" All I got was a " A secret admire ;)" well thanks to ask I have no idea who's sending these messages well maybe this person can ask another question and I could figure this out.

I got home and while I was walking home I called my mother like my usual routine. This time she was just going on and on about my guidance counselor. I honestly don't like her at all whatsoever. She was a jackass the last time I met her. Well my mom she wants to talk to someone about my schooling. I have no idea who and she said she called my principal but here is the problem there are 8 of them... She said she wanted US to go in school and talk. I honestly just want to be left alone. I have no outlet, I have no one and she's just pushing her way in my problems while I'm PERFECTLY FINE. I honestly want to runaway go somewhere and just lay there and kinda just die.

I want to explode. Cut, jump off a bridge, something. I can't do this anymore. Rant and rant and rant is all I get. I guess that's what my life is full of. I guess I'm staying after because I need to work on school. My grades are all B's and up beside TWO classes out of 7. Now I should stay after... I'm trying it's not like I'm not. I'm sick of everything I just want to go home what is home? Is it the death of me.