A Million Miles And I'm Now Here

2.1.16

Annoyed that's how it is. I'm not wanted and Jerome deserves better. Feeling crushed and destroyed in the inside breaking and tearing me apart. He's better without me, I've always said that to him. He can have that true love is. Meeting the parents of the woman he loves and going over houses. Spending time and effort to be with one another. What am I? Another girl on the computer... Another girl he thinks that should be rightfully loved. Sheldon said to me he shouldn't be finding love that across the sea. It's not once he's told me it's every time we talked. Apparently birth control is gross or I am in general. Well might as well be both because I want to cry in pain when my period comes and just pass out at school for it. I'm sick and tired, of fighting for something that I believed in. Maybe it's the right thing to let it go. It's that I love him too much maybe sooner or later enough to stop being selfish and let him free. I surely don't deserve him at all maybe someone in the UK will.
I cried in school, after I wrote this I sat in my English class and I took my glasses off and put my head down. I was already on the verge to cry but not yet. My teacher he wanted to get us to write Anglo Saxon poem. He said to express what you feel you have the most pride in. I don't have anything I have pride in. I had nothing to write about. I sat down at my desk and my friend could tell I was not having it. I was thinking but nothing came to mind. I was frustrated, unable to write anything and upset still from earlier I put my head to my knees and started to cry. My friend Leanne she knew what I was going through she hugged me and tried to help with the poem but it honestly didn't really work. Now walking home alone but the pains of my heart still beating I still continue to walk