Ashley’s POV
Pregnant. To my own sick, twisted father. When I realised I’d missed two periods and starting throwing up, I knew something was wrong; Aleesha knew something was wrong as well. When Shaun called her and bought her to me, I forgave him for his behaviour because now, I was acting the same. I didn’t want to eat, I didn’t want to talk, I just wanted that cold sharp pain to convince me this wasn’t a dream. But I promised no more cutting. I promised so many things but this I didn’t know if I could keep. Over the last few months, self harm had been my only way out and I knew my friendship with Aleesha had suffered over it, she couldn’t make me feel better 90% of the time. I knew she felt helpless but I couldnt stop.
This baby, I felt sorry for it, not only was it’s father also it’s grandfather but I had been taking strong medicines for months and just the other night I was blind drunk at a party. This baby wasn’t going to be healthy. When Aleesha handed me that cardboard box and I did the test, I was terrified to see the results but those 2 little lines bought the happiness I’d managed to find crashing down. I didn’t want a baby. Even before I told Aleesha, before I told Shaun I knew I couldn’t keep him. Seeing Shaun’s face when I told him I was pregnant hurt, I knew he wouldn’t want me now but as usual, I was wrong. The words he told me were still playing through my head hours later, ‘I promised you it would all be ok ash. I’m not going to break that’ he had whispered in my ear so Aleesha wouldn’t hear before hugging me tight which made me sick. I couldn’t do this. We were leaving for the rest of the tour tomorrow and I couldn’t be pregnant. I couldn’t put this pressure on Shaun, I had morning sickness bad at the moment. It wouldn’t take long for them to figure out I was pregnant. The only people who knew about the rape were Imogen and Shaun, I didn’t want anyone else to know.
On the next part of the tour, For Our Hero was supporting Short Stack, I had never heard of them and I couldn’t wait to meet them but being pregnant at 17, spewing my guts out every morning was not the best impression. I didn’t want this. Too bad what I wanted and what I got were two totally different things. The urge to slice through my wrists until I dropped dead was almost overpowering but I promised Shaun, I promised Aleesha, I promised myself. I curled up and shut out everything concentrating on song lyrics, I wasn’t giving in that easy again. Just after two in the morning hours after Shaun and aleesha went to bed I fell asleep, not proper sleep just the type of sleep that reality blurs and you can trick yourself into thinking it’s all going to be ok. Still replaying shauns words in my head.
Geoff’s POV
Today started like most days on tour, slightly hungover and being woken up by somebody else. But today was different. In just a couple of hours, we would be opening for short stack, they were friends of ours so it didn’t sound that special. We were playing in Melbourne which being where I lived didn’t sound that special either but it was. Truth was I didn’t actually know why today was special but it was; I could just feel it. But for now, I was stuck were I usually was at 11:30am when we were playing shows, only fallen asleep a few hours before, being shaken awake then getting ready for the music. We had to leave in half an hour, I was nowhere near ready and Nax was still half asleep. The best thing about being in a band? People usually say doing what we love and being paid for it or the fans without really meaning it. What they mean is being famous, having people screaming at them all the time, making money. Not my band. For Our Hero.The best thing about being in a band is the people that know every word to every song, the people whose live’s had been saved by our music, the people that spend their time making presents for us. The people that would do anything just to talk to us. Sounding fake was what I was afraid of, nobody wanted to be fake. I wasn’t letting “fame” go to my head. Opening for short stack, it was something I was looking forward to; Shaun, Andy and Bradie were as appreciative of the fans as we were. The people who lined up for hours and got so excited to see them. It made me happy knowing that their fans were ours as well, some of them lining up for hours to see us. I wasnt letting them down, I wanted to meet them all so I dragged myself into the bathroom and got ready.
By the time we got to festival hall there was so many people, even though we weren’t on for hours. Jumpnow was setting up stuff on the stage, Andy and Bradie were fighting, Shaun was talking to a girl in the corner. Typical boys. I wanted to fix up my hair so I went in search of a mirror, I found one in the bathroom and as I was leaving, a skinny pale girl ran past me and I could hear her throwing up. My first instinct was to run off because I hated sickness but something was telling me to stay. When she came out even paler, I knew it was the right decision to not run off. ‘Hi, I’m Geoff. Are you ok?’ I asked her, trying to sound calm. ‘Hey, I’m Ashley and no, I feel like shit’ she muttered, waving slightly. It was strange, she only looked about 17 and she didn’t exactly look sick, just scared and confused.
Who was she and why was she backstage?I heard someone coming towards us and looked up to see Shaun, looking totally lost and helpless. ‘Ash, are you ok?’ Shaun was someone I knew and I hadn’t heard him talk to someone in that tone of voice ever, it finally clicked Ashley was his. She did only look 17 so why he was with her confused me ‘No. Fuck morning sickness, it’s past 12 in the afternoon’ she moaned. She was pregnant. Teen pregnancy made me grumpy, but I wasn’t impressed at Shaun and he obviously picked up the not happy vibe.
’It’s not mine’ he told me firmly before squeezing her hand and walking away, Ashley lifted her eyes off the ground and looked up at me ‘Look, I was raped’ she stuttered with her voice shaking before walking off. I was right. Today was different but this wasn’t the way I guessed it would be
