shauns pov
Not being able to sleep isn’t ever fun, but when you’re heads reeling off alcohol and you just want to sleep it’s even worse. It’d been about 2 hours since ash walked out, again. Or at least I was guessing because I didn’t want to get up and check or even open my eyes. My head was just one big blurred around muddle, my stomach was still churning and I missed her insanely. Why did imogen have to do this? Any why now. Why did I have to start drinking tonight. So many questions, that I just couldn’t find the answers to in my head.
The noise of my ringtone was agony to my head, I rejected the call without even looking who it was and tried to go back to sleep. I hadn’t really slept well, when I did get to sleep. My dreams had been all crazy and full of memories I didn’t want. My ringtone went off again and again until I couldn’t take it anymore and picked up the call. It turned out to be that Eddie guy, telling me to come back to my house and face the music. I tried standing up, my head rushed and I had to sprint to the bathroom again. Luckily it was empty so I had privacy as once again I threw up. This was definitely not your average hangover. But this time I didn’t have ash to rub my back and give me water. I ended up missing the toilet and getting vomit all down my crumpled up shirt, and that made me look even worse.
I helped myself to one of bradies shirts and a towel from the cupboard, that was one of the advantages of being so close to Bradie and Andy, nothing was really awkward. By the time I finished in the shower I felt a bit better, my stomach didn’t feel any better but at least I was respectable. Turned out it was just after 2 in the afternoon, no wonder nobody else had interrupted me I could here them downstairs. I mumbled goodbye to everyone I saw, telling them I needed to get home for personal reasons.
I was so nervous it was insane, I shouldn’t feel like this over my own girlfriend.
I opened the front door to the smell of scrambled eggs, which didn’t help how sick I was feeling, but I couldn’t see anyone. I wandered upstairs to get myself some clean clothes and as I passed the bathroom I couldn’t help looking in there. That’s when I nearly passed out from the realization of what I’d done. Ash, this, there were splatters of blood everywhere, as well as a blade and stuff on the floor. It just reminded me far to vividly of the other times she’d done this. But once again this time was all my fault.
“I’ll clean up in there okay ash? You just stay here and please don’t be stupid?”
”thankyou. I promise”
Voices floated up the hall, and I heard footsteps coming towards the bathroom. Eddie appeared behind me raking a hand through his hair and holding a mop and some bleach.
He looked embarrassed when he saw me.
“sorry I wanted to get this cleaned up before you got here… Guess I misjudged the time” he gave me a small smile and walked into the bathroom, closing the door lightly behind him. What the hell did he think he was doing? Cleaning my bathroom, cleaning my girls blood up. I had to see her.
When I did I wasn’t so sure it was a good idea, she was sitting on the spare bed, looking like she always did but I could see the dressings on her wrists, the blood on her shirt. Our fight just went over and over in my mind, until “….. Ash?” I could hardly recognize my own voice. She turned around, the look on her face near cracked my heart. She was crying, again.
“god ash forgive me?”
