ashleys pov
some might say some might say i’ll be your biggest regret, i swear i’ll cut til crimson falls… stack is the new black was the album i fell in love with, the music that got me through. now i was sitting here in the opera house bathroom with Aleesha and Imogen with blood running down my arms. i had resisted the urge to cut for so very long, i just couldnt help it. seeing Taylah and Shaun fight like that, fight over me had been the last straw. All the changes i’d made lately had gone, as soon as I saw Taylah. I just didn’t care anymore. Shaun’s lyrics were running through my head, I knew i’d hurt him bad. Maybe beyond repair. He had seen me cutting my wrists, I had ignored his pleas for me to stop… Tonight was supposed to be magic. As usual I ruined the happineess i managed to find. Moping was no good, I just had to suck this up. For the first time today it occured to me that today wasn’t my day to ruin, it wasn’t about me at all.
This was Shauns big day, he had been so excited. Now I had ruined it. Imogen and aleesha were fussing over me, cleaning my wrists trying to stop the blood from dribbling onto my dress. Honestly I didnt want them around, I wanted to be alone. But bring alone wasn’t what I needed. I needed to see Shaun, I needed to. The only solution was to either hurt my friends or let Shaun hurt inside, his ego was to big for him to let him show his emotions. Luckily I didn’t have to choose, racheal came in inturpting us which gave me my escape. I found Shaun eventually sitting by a window looking down on the water, he was cradeling his guitar, sitting all scrunched up. It was so beautiful here, the late afternoon sun was shining through the window, making Shaun sort of glow. He didn’t know I was there, he was singing softly, stunning his gutair at the same time. “you amaze you amaze me, And i wanna love you, I wanna love you blue I wanna do some horrid things to you…” he was truly amazing. Once he did sense I was around he went all awkward, stopped singing and held his arms out. I never felt more guilty about anything until now, why Shaun still bothered to care was beyond me. He could have nearly any girl in the world yet he still made me feel like I was the only girl in the room even when it was a room full of fans.
He wasn’t dressed yet, he was still wearing his white shirt from before, now stained with red marks. He wrapped me in his arms, letting me cry into his shoulder, letting my arms add a few more red marks to his shirt. We must have stayed up in that room, in the fading light, for about half an hour. I was curled up in his arms, i think by the time Shaun had to get up and get ready I think we were somehow both crying. But even without words I knew he had forgiven me. He had his arm around my waist while I carried his gutair, leaning into his shoulder. I wasn’t ready to face anyone on my own yet so I sat at Shauns feet while he did his hair. He was such a diva. Not even I straightned my hair that much. But I couldn’t avoid leesh and ims forever, They swooped in on me when Shaun was getting changed and pulled me away from everyone.
jays pov
with my hand in Brittanys i felt safer, after seeing the look on Shauns face, the shock in Nax’s voice i felt uneasy. Something big had gone down and i hated not knowing what was happening. Britty was looking amazing as usual, her face was glowing. Everyone else on the other hand… well lets just leave it as you could have cut the air with a knife…. we were starting our show in less than an hour and nobody was ready. Nobody was in the mood to perform. I didn’t even know half these people hanging around backstage. Well I was going to be prepared ‘I’m all for image but I don’t wanna see you do your hair in my rear view mirror’ I sung to britty, it always made us laugh. That was how we met, I saw her checking her hair in my back window, then saw her again at jay jays a few hours later. She had amazed me from the second I laid eyes on her. ‘so graceful so gutless’ she sung back, get voice was cute. That was the other part of our joke, I was to nervous to talk to her to start with but Apprently I had looked graceful. I had to admit now I was singing I was getting excited to perform.
