Shauns pov
“Shaun.” “Shaun.” “shaun!!” someone muttering in my ear and poking my stomach woke me up. My head was pounding and spinning around, and I could feel that I wasn’t wearing pants. There was still music pumping up from downstairs and the clock on my phone said 11:12. Just my luck, no wish for me and I really needed one..
Imogen was sitting next to me holding her head in her hand, thrusting my jeans at me with the other. I pulled them on, and what we’d just done came rushing back to me so fast I had to sit back down.
“fuck it imogen! Why the hell do we keep getting entwined. I want to be with ash!!” I didn’t even try to keep the anger and regret out of my voice. I loved ash, and i’d just done something that could potentially rip us apart and push her back over the edge.
“I’m sorry. Seriously Shaun..”
“just stay away from me.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes until I could hear her crying a bit, then a few minutes later she was asleep. She’d been drinking all afternoon and was to young to handle so much, luckily for me.
I slipped out of the room and found ash downstairs, she was sitting inside, talking to some guy. He got up when they saw me and looked pretty guilty. He must have been one of the boys from because they can maybe?
“catcha ‘round ash” she nodded and he disappeared out the back door.
“hey is imogen okay? You were up there for ages?”
Guilt wrapped around my throat, pulling it’s razored edges tighter and tighter until it felt like I couldn’t move. My stomach was turning flips and I could almost taste the vomit. I felt insanely guilty “um yeah she was um pretty upset. She’s asleep now..” I managed to croak out, once again luckily for me ash didn’t get suspicious. She just dragged me into a hug and kissed me. I had to push her off and bolt to the kitchen sink, my stomach turning over. Ash rubbed my back for me until I was finished, and I sank down into the tiles and took the glass of water she was holding out to me. Tonight must have been my lucky night, although it didn’t feel lucky, although technically I did GET lucky.. Because ash sat down next to me and didn’t seem to freaked out.
I knew I wasn’t going to feel any better until I told ash the truth, and even that was sounding better than throwing up again..
“ash can I tell you something?”
“of course..”
“and you won’t get mad at me?”
“..no? You’ve never been mad at me. I should return the favour”
The words were like broken glass on my throat, ripping and pulling but I had to tell her.
“fuck ash I’m so sorry!”
“um Shaun? You haven’t sad anything yet..?” despite everything I smiled a little.
“oh god ash I just slept with imogen. I’m so sorry it was a mistake and I was drunk and it felt wrong and I regret it.”
The words didn’t make much sense, but at least I’d said them. It took her a minute to work it out but when she did I could instantly just see the hurt flicker in her eyes before she walked off, leaving me sitting against the kitchen cupboard.
My stomach was still turning and I felt even worse, I couldn’t lose her, I just couldn’t, not now, not when everything had finally started going our way. The thoughts twirled around and around my mind until I blacked out, not even feeling my head hit the cupboard on the way down.
