chapter 8.

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ashley’s POV

It was dark by the time I was walking up the driveway to my house. After Shaun left I had sat on the jetty over the water for ages, thinking, remembering it was something I did to much lately. I wanted to stop thinking so much and just go back to the way things were before me and Taylah had our massive fight. I didn’t mean what I said and had spent ages feeling guilty. It was starting to ruin my life; every time I did anything, something to remind me of her appeared. But today had been amazing; just being around Shaun made me feel better. He made me feel safe now I knew Taylah had enough guts to try and attack me with a knife. Pushing open the door I slipped inside trying to be as quiet as possible; I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts. I managed to sneak up to the bathroom to have a shower.

I made sure the door was bolted shut before getting undressed there was no way I wanted my dad to come in. Standing under the water my fingers ran over the marks on my wrists just faintly you could make out that underneath the lines and marks the letters FML. But to me they seemed to stand out. I still rememer how much it hurt, the blood dripping down my arm. Shuddering I turned off the water, got dressed as quickly as possible and ran into my room. Home just didn’t feel safe anymore not since dad had…… Collapsing onto my bed I tried to blank out my thoughts I must have succeeded at some point because when I woke up the clock read 11:11 i smiled wishing silently for the same thing I had wished for the last couple of weeks. I stayed laying in the dark but I could sense a presence and before I had time to hide, the door swung open revealing the tall figure of my… Mum. Sighing with relief I stood up to talk to her, but her face was wet with tears and all she managed to say was ‘his gone, locked up for 12 months’ before giving me a quick hug and walking away. Sitting at my computer I switched it on and logged on to my email. My mood sunk a little there was nothing from her… Taylah I had emailed her but she wouldn’t talk to me. But nothing could ruin my mood; tonight he was finally gone, finally I was safe in my house. I got lost in the world of the interwebz and Photoshop and by the time I checked the time it was 2am. Yawning I decided to check my emails one last time. My heart jumped, just like it did when Taylah decided to email me or when she tweeted something to me. There in my inbox was the email I had wanted for so long. I clicked it open immediately reading all the words, taking in every detail. Wiping away tears I shut down the computer and crawled back into bed, feeling numb.

The email had told me what i wanted to know and I had been waiting for it but it still confused me. Once again I cried myself to sleep adding new smudges of eyeliner onto my pillow case as I slid into unconsciousness about 3am. My room was bright and warm when i woke up to a text from aleesha. Aleesha is one of my best friends and one of the only people to have stood by me these last few weeks. I picked up my phone to discover there was a text from Shaun  aswell. I read aleesha’s first, her normal chatter cheering me up a little; she was on holiday in Queensland and really cut that she missed short stack doing an instore. I read shaun’s next, he was really sweet asking if I was ok and to call if I needed ANYTHING. I replied to them before rolling over hoping for more sleep. Two hours later I was awake. Very awake thanks to the coffee I had. Shaun had called asking me to come back to the beach with him today and I had agreed instantly because on the inside I was a major fan. My phone vibrated with a message from Shaun- he didn’t want to open the door. Smiling I opened the front door to reveal Shaun standing on my doorstep holding roses. He took my hand gently rubbing my wrists and inspecting for new cuts, when he didn’t find anything he grinned and kissed my wrists gently before pulling me by the hand towards the beach. We walked slowly, holding hands just enjoying the feeling of being close to someone. When we arrived at the beach I looked down at my outfit. Skinny jeans with a black hoodie my usual outfit. But not exactly right for the beach. Although Shaun was wearing skinnys and a hoodie aswell.

The beach was warm and covered in sunshine and just down along the sand was Andy, bradie and Jimmy. ‘come on Ima race you’ Shaun’s voice was light in my ear and he was gone. A flash of black was in front of me and I sprinted off after it. Just when i caught up he stopped, turned around and grinned at me before grabbing me and pulling me into his arms. Before I could protest he had walked into the water and dumped me right into the waves, squealing I kicked him in the back of the leg and dragged him under the freezing foam of the pounding waves. ‘my hair, you bitch!’ yeah this was my queue to leave. I jumped up and ran off but Shaun was right behind me. He grabbed my shoulder and spun me around, his gorgeous face was right in front of mine. He was trying to look angry but a hint of a smile tugged at his lips, but all I could concentrate on was how amazing his eyes were and how flat his hair was. I was so entranced I didn’t realise that he was leaning in just about to kiss me again. He smiled at me before pressing his lips to mine.

We broke apart and walked towards the guys. But they were gone leaving us alone with the blanket. Shaun flopped down soaking wet and dusted in sand. He gestured for me to sit down. I sat. His turned and looked at me, his gorgeous eyes seeing into my soul. He took a deep breath ‘Ashley I need you, and you need me, will you come on the rest of the tour with me’. It was all I could do to not squeal as loud as I could, this was a chance to escape, to leave all this behind. I turned to face Shaun again, his face anxious he looked nervous. I threw my arms around his neck. ‘yes’ I whispered in his ear

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