imogens pov
My head was reeling, spinning around and around until I felt like it was going to explode. Isn’t this what I’d wanted for so long? I used to dream about getting intimate with Shaun, or rather, i’d dreamt of getting in his pants. Now it’d happened I couldn’t think of anything except regret and how wrong it’d felt. The regret was bitter and heavy in my mouth, leaving a metallic sting in my throat everytime I swallowed.
Shaun was one of jumpnows best friends, and now I’d gone and done this to him. He’d walked out about 15 minutes ago, time seemed to be ticking by slower than ever.
The fact that I was alone, nobody had come since jumpnow had left.
The temptation to cut into my wrists again was growing, but I wasn’t giving in this time. I had to find Bella. I had to apologize.
Walking wasn’t too easy, my head was thumping and the light was stinging my eyes, but I managed to find Andy’s door.
Bella was lying on the bed, her hair spread out on the pillow around her, but she was trying to pretend she was sleeping. But I saw her move when I opened the door, just slightly and I could hear her attempts at stifling tears.
I shut the door quietly behind me, tiptoeing over to the bed and lying down next to her. Out of habit I put my arms around her, well she was -or had been- my best friend. I felt her tense and mutter “not tonight Andy I need to think..” when I didn’t answer she turned around and pushed me off her with gasp.
“go away. I don’t want to talk to you”
“I’m sorry. Ive been a rubbish friend, a terrible person and a fucking idiot”
She blinked hard a few times, a few tears she couldn’t stop dripping out falling down her pale cheeks.
“I don’t think I can. You’ve changed”
That hurt.
“I know but I swear I’m so sorry I just want to sort this out..”
Soon we were both sitting up and looking at each other, she was crying, I was pretty sure I was too. Crying for the mess I’d made of things, what I’d done, how bad i’d stuffed up this time.
We talked for what felt like hours, just trying to sort things out and by the time we were both almost asleep she’d forgiven me and I’d vowed to spend more time with her. Now I could dream, sleep in peace without having so much to worry over. Well except the Shaun and jumpnow thing, but that had jagged edges to sharp to think about whilst I was in this state of mind.
She gave me a sloppy hug and a shaky smile before she passed out fully, totally unconscious. I stumbled back to the spare room, where I was seeking safety for the night. The last thing I noticed before I collapsed onto the bed was a single flower, slightly wilted and a cupcake. Confused and hardly able to keep my eyes open I shoved them aside and collapsed onto the bed, finally giving in to the alcohol and stress of the night and falling into sleep. Still in my tightest skinnies and a random top, but that didn’t matter. I just needed sleep
