“night guys xoxo” I tweeted, and instantly there was replys saying stuff such as ‘sweet dreams’ ‘night baby xo’ and other stuff, this is why twitter was so good. It’s accepting.
- - - - -
She strokes the blade across her palm, her wrist, teasingly. I know why she always wears long sleeves and never does sport. I know what that knife is for and it makes my heart flip over. She looks so scarily vulnerable in her ripped skinny jeans with the straight jet black sweep of hair. I know she’s dangerous, but she lures me in.
She started at my school about a week ago, she’s always kept to herself. She’s never made friends.
I blink and next thing I know we are sitting, side by side in the library conference room. Our fingers entwined and she spills why she is the way she is. Then we kiss, she’s hesitant and holds back. When I blink again the scenes changed, were outside her front door, she has tears running down her face and mixing with her makeup. There’s blood running down her hands and that knife sits abandoned at her feet. This isn’t just any fight, it’s enough to break the bond forever.
I shut my eyes one last time and I see myself, throwing myself into gutair and song writing, changing schools and blocking the sad pale girl out of my mind.
“EDWARD JAMES KEMP!! GET UP!” that’s when I jolt awake, bolt upright and start to breathe again. It wasn’t real, it was just a dream. But a dream I hadn’t had in almost a year. I’d managed to block out the past, block out the sad girl. Now, she’d been thrust back into my life without any warning at all. Her name was Ashley, and just thinking of it left my heartbeat irregular. I’ve blocked her out so well the details of our fight have started to go all hazy, but now they’ve all come rushing back to me, leaving my head spinning around and around.
If that wasn’t bad enough of a nightmare, I’m late for band practice, and with a tour coming up I knew I wasn’t going to be to popular with my band members. By the time I’m standing under the spray of the shower and trying to wash all the bad memories away it’s past 11, but I could stand here all day.
Jackson on the other hand, isn’t going to let that happen. Mum drags me out of the shower and the first thing I see when I’m getting dressed is jacko sitting on my bed. Luckily for me, I’m still wearing a towel.
“dude I’m naked. Go away” but he’s stubborn and just chucks a pair of jeans and a random shirt from next to my bed at me and turns away. “and we’re late so hurry up or I’ll film you” so I tug on underwear and the jeans, pull the shirt on before dragging him out the door. It’s not until were in the car that I realise that he has filmed me getting dressed, and won’t even show me.
It still feels like I’m dreaming but at least, it’s an alright one. James is driving, jackos pretending to show Jed the video and I’m fighting with them to get it back. Things are back to normal, or normal enough for me to smile.
