shauns pov
Love is the weirdest thing, sometimes to fall in love took ages, sometimes it was instant. But to fall out of love was even weirder. Sometimes it took just a few days, a few weeks, but sometimes you never really fell out of love with someone, it was like it was supposed to happen.
That was me now, lying in my bed which felt extremely empty now, without having someone beside me. When I saw ash, I fell for her, fell harder and faster than I'd ever thought I could. Now I couldn't fall out of loving her, it was like I was on a carnival ride, spinning around and around, and I just couldn't get off. I didn't want to. I could hear that Eddie bloke moving around in the bathroom, but I thought I'd heard the door slam an hour ago. But I'd fallen asleep instead of checking who it was, and now I had the strongest feeling that ash was gone.
Footsteps were coming, louder than ash's, why was he coming to talk to me, he was practically stealing my girlfriend, from under my nose. But then again, he had been there last night when I couldn't be, she trusted him so I guess I'd have to aswell if I wanted a chance of keeping her.
The door clicked open and the scent of fresh coffee floated in, followed by the strong smell of men's deodorant. Yuck.
I considered sticking my head back under the covers and pretending to be asleep, but that would be rude. Instead I accepted the cup of Eddie, sat up slowly and tried to stop my head spinning. Somehow, I didn't have the mental strength to hate him right now. Before he had a chance to talk I put my 2 cents in.
"what happened"
"when"
"last night"
He frowned slightly and sat crossed legged on the floor near the bed, so he told me. He was one of those people who didn't leave details out, which for once I was pretty relieved over. I didn't really want to have to find out details later, but as the story unfolded I wasn't sure I wanted to know at all.
We talked, more than I thought I would ever talk to him, he wasn't such a bad guy. He told me that he was ash's ex and had no intention of getting back with her, which did relax me a little. My head was still pounding and I still felt sicker than I had in so long, but I had to ask.
"where is she?"
"honestly? I don't know. I heard the door shut before, I thought it was you..."
Great. The first chance I could have had at forgiveness and ash had to disappear of the face of the earth. She had to be okay, she just had to be.
Eddie gave me a half smile and left the room, leaving me alone to think and regret things even more. Drinking never ended well, but this was just crazy. Eddie came back just as I was getting swept away by the bad thoughts, telling me that ash was with jumpnow. That was okay, at least she wasn't alone and crazy.
"I'm going. Bye Shaun" I gave him a half wave and rolled back over, sleep was coming so fast I couldn't stop it. But sleep wouldn't leave me in peace, instead my dreams were plagued with ash, the memories of what we'd been through. Our relationship should have been rock solid, instead I was here dreaming and she was out drinking coffee with my best friend.
And to make matters worse it finally occurred to me that I hadn't used a condom last night, if Imogen got pregnant I was screwed. Could today get ANY better?
I let sleep take over, growing my mind out, let the exhaustion overwhelm me.
