Shauns pov
I’d convinced the nurses that I needed to stay, they’d finally moved ash into her own room out of the ICU. I’d been here for 2 days and she still wasn’t any closer to waking up and i was kind of losing hope to be honest. So I decided to do the thing I was best at, write. I spent hours just writing, spilling everything. Putting every single feeling I had into lyrics, everything I had into trying to fix what I’d done.
I fell asleep eventually, the general stress and lack of sleep had exhausted me. The room had a private sign on the door, which meant that everyone had to knock before coming in so I curled up on the single hospital bed and entwined my fingers in ash’s. They were cold, but I needed to be touching someone.
I was just on the verge of passing out when she squeezed my fingers back. It was light, it felt like nothing more than a whisper of tension but she moved. Excited I started saying her name, trying to bring her round, after 5 minutes there was no more signs of life so I gave up and let myself fall asleep. I woke up to sunlight shining through the window, I didn’t want to wake up, I just wanted to sleep until everything was okay. But jumpnow wasn’t letting that happen. He knocked on the door, but didn’t bother waiting for an answer just bardged in and dragged me out of bed. He offered to take me down to the beach, I knew I needed a break so I agreed, reluctantly. I squeezed ash’s hand pining for another feel of her squeezing back but there was nothing again. Jumpnow had been around here before but not enough to know where any good beaches were, instead he took me down to the beach that I hadnt wanted to set foot on. This was the beach I asked ash to come on tour on, right near the jetty where we first got talking. But putting it all aside, I grabbed the surfboard jumpnow had hired and hit the surf, I guessed thus was how it felt when ash cut, it let me have a feeling of control again. Out here, I was alone. But it wasn’t lonely, it was incredible.
The salt water washed away the feelings of guilt I’d been having, it rinsed the strongest feelings of regrets that I had. Jumpnow wouldn’t let me go straight back to the hospital, he dragged me to the hotel and shoved me into the bathroom with a can of deodorant and a razor. I could see why when I looked in the mirror, I didn’t bother to shave despite looking like a hobo that lived in a bin, there was more important things in life, as I’d learnt in this past 2 weeks. After the hottest shower of my entire life, i looked and smelt better at least. When we got back to the hospital jumpnow came back into ash’s room with me, she looked the same as she did when I left. Jumpnow was my best friend, he had been for years so when he asked if I was ok I knew he was being genuine. ‘I just wish she’d wake up. It’s all I want’ I admitted to him.
He gave me a kind of awkward hug, before walking away looking like he felt like he was intruding. I sat down after the door clicked shut ‘I just wish you’d wake the fuck up’ I muttered and a tear dripped down onto her cheek. ‘whaaaaa?’ then I lost my shit. ‘ASH FUCK IT’S YOU.’ I yelled before running as fast as I could to the nurse station and grabbing the closest one. Back in her room her eyes were open, she looked terrified and I launched myself at her ‘ash I’m so so sorry’ I whispered in her ear and hugged her the best I could. She wasn’t back totally but it was enough to bring tears of happiness to my eyes. She was my ash, and she was going to pull through. No matter what.
