Fighting For The Doctors Affection (Manxman)

Fighting For The Doctors Affection: Chapter Sixteen

Hi there Jitterbugs, I hope this chapter finds you well. Well here it is the first upload of the new year. I know its pretty bad that it took this long right? Anyways i hope yall like it and what not and If you dont Im sorry. 

Song of chapter is:  Let It go by: James Bay ( one of my Favorite Songs)

Picture is of Athiss! Hehe..

Dedication goes to: PandorasBox22 (thanks for reading and commenting on my story)

Thanks for the support jitterbugs, Yall are amazing!

Tiggs

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Athiss slowly blinked his eyes open, as he did he allowed his eyes to scan the room before sighing and looking up at the ceiling. He never understood how something so uninteresting could make you forget all of your problems all of your worries.

Taking a deep breath he wondered what was so wrong with him. Why was he feeling so complacent, and so unaffected by the knowledge that he was once again left all alone? He knew that he should have been used to this by now after all it seemed as if he was always alone.

Sometimes he made himself believe that he had chosen this for himself. But in reality he didn't, he would have loved to be surrounded by those that he loved.

But in reality he was alone, always alone. He had learned to live with it, and with living with it he had learned how to put on a shield so no one could see how he was truly feeling. It was better that way because no one asked questions.

He knew that walking away from Vaughn all those years ago made it so he was always alone. But maybe now it was time for him to just accept the fact that no matter how much he wanted Vaughn, Vaughn didn't want or need him.

Slowly swiping his tongue over his lip Athiss knew that as much as he wanted to cry, he knew that it would be for naught. After all he would never be Vaughn's first choice, he would always be the man's last. Someone that wasn't needed, wasn't wanted.

Timidly running his hands down his arms Athiss shivered. He couldn't even fathom what it must be like to be stuck fighting who you were and what you wanted like Vaughn was. After all he had always been comfortable being who he was and if anyone had a problem with it he didn't care. The less attention he had the better. But Vaughn was always someone that needed attention, and that right there was part of the problem.

They were so different, and now that he thought about it maybe they were too different.

Quickly taking a deep breath Athiss knew that he had told the man that he could stay only one night. But the part of him that still loved and needed Vaughn had hoped, had wished that the man would have stayed and fought for them.

Hell he hoped that he would have done anything to give him a sign that what he was feeling Vaughn was as well. But all he got was disappointment and this empty hollow feeling. He didn't understand why he cared, but he did.

Slowly closing his eyes Athiss took a ragged breath as he thought about all the "I love you's", that Vaughn thrusted his way. After all they were nothing but empty words that were accompanied by more empty promises by the man that still held the key to his heart.

Those three little words were always said to often, and with them came the lack of meaning behind them. What Athiss wanted was something that proved the words. He didn't want to be wined and dined. But he wanted to feel like he was loved by actions and not words.

Words to him was meaningless if the actions themselves didn't convey what you were saying.

Slowly squinting his eyes tighter together Athiss counted:"one..two..three..four", before taking a slow and steady breath once he knew that he was alright. He knew that if he didn't move from this spot, the spot that smelled like Vaughn he would eventually break down in tears .