Fighting For The Doctors Affection (Manxman)

Fighting For The Doctors Affection:Chapter Twenty

Here it is Jitterbugs Chapter 20. Sorry it took so long.  I hope that yall enjoy it and everything. This chapter honestly perplexed me. But its done now. So yay. 

Dedication goes too:Aesthetically-poetic (thanks for contacting me and giving me the push i needed to actually edit it and get it done) So here you go.

Song of chapter: Freestyle- Before I let you go

Have a lovely day, night, afternoon, or morning.

XXXTiggsXXXX

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Chapter Twenty:Athiss

Slowly leaning his head against the steering wheel Athiss let out a huge puff of air; one that he didn't know he was holding in. But he knew that no matter what, he couldn't help how he felt. After all he was about to embark to a place that he didn't really want to go.

After a few more slow and gentle puffs of air Athiss brought his bottom lip into his mouth as he sighed. He knew that he had to get out of the car and make his way through the terminal and to his colleagues, where the jet awaited them.

But for some reason the thought of getting out of the car was making him panic. And that panic made him stall slightly in what he needed to do. Honestly, all he wanted to do was run away from the obligations that he had.

At the moment he didn't care if they involved the hospital, his baby; he wanted to run. Slowly blinking his eyes opened and closed a few times Athiss lifted his head and looked to the right, as he did he saw the time blinking back at him as if it was a beacon.

Taking one last look at the clock Athiss timidly closed his eyes as he took one last breath and counted one, two, three as the last number passed his lips he quickly opened his eyes as the urge to drink filled him.

Honestly, he hated that he didn't have enough time to drink. Something preferably strong, something that could help him take the edge off, but sadly he knew that he didn't have time. Nervously biting on his bottom lip Athiss wondered why his every thought had to be about Vaughn. What made that man special, and why couldn't he just leave Vaughn in the past with everything thing else?

He was stronger than this, and he hated the fact that he was becoming this weak man again.

Quickly reaching up Athiss gripped the edge of his hair and tugged it hard, as a groan escaped his lips forcing him to let go of his bottom lip. He knew that he couldn't go back to the way he was before, it wasn't fair to him.

He had worked hard to get to a place where he could be happy with himself. Where he could look in the mirror and see someone special, someone worth all the love in the world. Not only that but he was now at a place where he no longer blamed himself for everything that happened between him and his husband; no him and Vaughn.

But for the longest time he did. He believed that it was his fault that Vaughn had sought comfort in the arms of someone else. He had felt like he wasn't good enough for the person that said that they loved him. Athiss knew that no matter how young they were when they had married Vaughn would always be it for him.

Hell over the past three months, the time that Vaughn has asked for and Athiss like the fool he was gave him had a lot of time on his hands for thinking. And his thinking had brought him to the conclusion that it was indeed time to move on.

He couldn't continue living in limbo wondering when he would be enough for the man that had ruined him for anyone else.

Quickly letting his hands fall from his hair Athiss licked his lips gently as he softly whispered out to the empty car: "Why did you have to come back? Why did you have to make me question all the things that I didn't before? Why do I want you so? And yet you could care less about me, so why did it have to be you? Why couldn't I just have moved on with Jai, with anyone? Why Vaughn, tell me why? What did I do to deserve this heartache, and pain?"