nope

chapter 37 - Goodbye Jack

~PLAY THE SONG ON THE SIDE~

I couldn't talk, I couldn't cry, but most of all I couldn't look at him. This was it. We were sitting at the airport, waiting for his flights to be called. I decided I'd wait with him until he got on the plane, and we've been sitting here for around an hour. I didn't want to look at him, because I knew I'd just break down and look like a complete idiot. 

I know we should probably be talking and spending the last hour together, but I just couldn't. How can I be okay with him leaving? I can't. No matter how much I try and be happy for him, I can't. 

"You know" Jack whispered "The way your acting right now is quite upsetting" He told me, trying to grab my hand. I pulled away and continued staring at the surrounding people. Couples were everywhere. "Sarah?" There was an old couple sitting in the seats infront of us, and I couldn't help but frown. 

Jack and I will never be that. 

"Please talk to me" He sighed

"Will it make you stay?" I asked, my voice cracking half way through. I winced at how rusty it sounded. I hated feeling this vulnarable, and...helpless. The ache in my heart was unbearable. I keep thinking that maybe if..-If I stopped fussing around in the past and denying my feelings, maybe Jack and I would have had more time together. 

But that wouldn't have made the pain go away any less. 

"No" He sighed "Please stop making this so hard for me" He muttered "You know I want to stay, but I want this more. This is my drea-" 

"I know!" I whisper yelled, looking at him for the first time. As expected, my eyes started prickling with tears. His beautiful greeny-blue eyes stared back at me with sorrow and guilt. His hair was ruffled messily, but somehow made him look even hotter than when it's styled perfectly. "I know this is your dream, but you can't expect me to be one hundred percent happy about it. I love you, and you're..you're leaving" I cried, brushing the tears away angrily. 

He didn't say anything. He grabbed my hand, but I pulled it out again. "Sarah?" He said slowly. I shook my head and sighed. 

"I'm breaking up with you. Now...A-and when you get there, can you please not call me? I-I need time..." I adverted my eyes to his face again, hoping he would except what i'm asking of him.

His eyes became glassy, but he blinked it away. "Don't do this, baby" He gulped. I shook my head and didn't reply. I needed this. He swallowed hard before saying "How much time?"

I sat there for a moment, thinking things through.I didn't want to speak to him now, but I wasn't sure how long I won't want to speak to him in the future, but I knew it was going to be a while "A year" I whispered, closing my eyes. I took a deep breath and said it stronger "A year, Jack. I need my space, to get things back on track..To get my life back together" I told him, before standing up 

"Sarah wai-"

"I'm serious Jack" I said, frowning deeply at the beautiful boy staring up at me, "A year"

He didn't say anything, just simply nodded. I decided it was probably good I left then. I walked out of the airport and called Travis to pick me up. As I waited for him to collect me, I sat on the seat and cried into my hands. 

Goodbye Jack Harries. 

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 "Just like that?" Layla asked, lying on her bed. She was lying on her stomach and had her chin resting on her palms, while her mouth hung open like a broken puppet. I nodded as I wiped the remaining tears off my cheeks. I was sitting on my own bed, cuddling into a pillow pet. "Not even a if you're coming home then call me sort of thing?" She stated. 

"No" I groaned "He's not coming home, and I don't want him to" I sighed "If he comes home i'll feel guilty because he's throwing away his future" I told her. Layla seemed to understand, because she didn't press it any further. 

We sat in silence for a few moments, waiting for either one of us to talk. I wanted to talk. I wanted to distract myself from the fact that I had told the love of my life not to contact me. What happened to staying friends? What happened to forgetting we were together, and being fine with everything? 

Before one of us said anything to eachother, Travis burst through the door with a plastic bag and a handful of DVDs "I think someone needs cheering up" Travis shrugged, as he noticed Layla and I staring at him. I couldn't help but notice the man standing behind him. He looked awkward, as if he didn't know how to react.

"I don't need cheering up" I sniffed, rolling over and staring out the window. I heard padding feet before there was a huge bounce in my bed. I knew before I had even turned around that Travis was jumping on my bed as if it was a trampoline "Get off" i groaned, staring up at his long figure from where I was lying on the bed

"Come on Sarebear, don't be sad!" He cooed "I brought chocolate?" He offered. I ignored his attempt at trying to cheer me up, and shoved his feet instead, making him step back onto the floor. "Jeez" He muttered under his breath "This is worse than any past relationship" He told Layla. I wanted to tell him that this wasn't just any realtionship, but I had no energy.

I lied on my back and out  my hands over my eyes as the tears started pricking trhough again. "Why did he have to leave?" I asked them all. "He said he loved me. Doesn't that mean we're supposed to stick together?" I wasn't expecting an answer, but I got one anyway.

"He wanted to" an unfamiliar voice told me. I looked up and noticed it was the new guy speaking. He was sitting on the floor by the door, his head resting on the wall behind him. I waited for him to continue, and he did. "He told me he wanted to take you with him, but he didn't want to ruin your chances here" 

"You met him?" I asked, sounding generally surprised

"Ryan has his old bed" Travis said quietly. I felt my heart pang in heart break as I thought about the numerous times Jack and I had spent together in that bed. 

"Is that what he said exactly?" I asked again, hoping this time it would be Ryan to answer. 

"Not in so many words" He told me "He was pretty shaken up, but you could see it in his eyes he wanted nothing more than you and that opportunity" 

I didn't reply. Instead I rolled over again and cuddled into the same pillow pet. Who knew that this stupid thing Jack and I bought one day while shopping, would come in useful? I wanted him here. He's only been gone a few hours and I'm already craving his scent. His warmth. 

I needed him.

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okay so if I knew the lastish chapter was going to be so short, I would have added it onto the last chapter. 

THIS IS NOT THE END. 

not yet. This is the last OFFICIAL chapter but there will a few more chapters (four maybe five I'm not sure yet) before I end this offically okay? You'll know because I'll have a very emotional authors note. ahahahahha. 

If you aren't already, can you please go and check out my story drive bad boy it'd mean sososososo much!

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