R E L A X
D A Y 5 3
I wish you were here right now. I would ask you how you ever managed to handle me...the person who's in love with me, the one who's a little bit insane, I told you about him a while ago, didn't I? He won't leave me alone...he's crazy. I don't know how to tell him I want to leave and forget about him. I felt bad, so I let him back into my life...but he's insane. I don't feel safe around him at all. He wants me to meet him...and I'll feel bad if I say no, so if I do meet him it will be in a public place, and I'll take M with me. He just won't calm down! He won't stop rambling, and I hate it! I've never met someone more pathetic, and I feel bad for saying that...but it's true.
All I did was ask him why he had to get emotional about everything...and this is all of what he said...he just wanted about everything. I've only spoke to him a couple of times, mind you.
"well tonights kinda sucked, the garbage was bad, there was about 6 bags on every floor each one of them ripping and overflowing with disgusting odors smells and juiced and idk just got me in a bad mood im trying to watch a movie and i get soda everywhere, im just a little pissed right now, and im trying not to direct any of the anger at you, so i dont want to get into too much of the relationship stuff, and i know your not into me, but it stung a bit just hearing you say it, and do you think i havent thought about you like every day and how bad i felt, i have a habit of feeling very guilty
because of my morality. i did like you yes but i hated my self for hurting you even more i dont like hurting people, i dont like stealing or cheating or bribing because its wrong i dont like fighting"
He thinks he hurt me, I don't really know why. It's just in his imagination...I think I might ask R for help soon. He'll know what to do...and if he really thinks so, he can intervene...and scare this kid away. R is always there for me, and he really knows how to tell someone off...
This person is obsessed with me. I hate it! You know what I hate the most? How he calls me perfect...everything I do is perfect...I don't know what makes a person act like that, I really don't. It's driving me crazy. He hates himself so much, and he just never leaves me alone.
How did you deal with me? I mean, it's even worse with this kid...but there must be a way to deal with people like this without hurting them...I'm worried if I try to leave he'll kill himself. He's just so dependant on me and he doesn't even know me. The worst part is, he acts like we're best friends...he acts like I do love him...he's living in this fantasy world. I wish you were here, so you could help me...or maybe you could tell him off. You're a lot less harsh than R is. Oh well, I guess I'll have to learn to deal with stuff...even if it is scary...I guess I'm going to have to learn to live with crazy people.
YOU ARE READING
73 Days
NonfiksiA series of letters to a once best friend, a series of letters he may never get to read. There are 73 days in summer, and that means 73 days of change. From a suicidal, depressed, self-harm addicted teenager into a (hopefully) stable young woman, th...
