Reminiscing

Scarlett Pt.II

*Flashback*

The lift pinged as the doors slid open. I was in my living room drinking, as I awaited for Scarlett to arrive. I wasn't intending on getting drunk because I wanted my mind to be crystal clear for this talk.

I had barely slept at all last night. I missed Scarlett. I missed waking up to her warmth surrounding me. I missed the smell of her hair on my pillow and I missed her smile, that smile that sent my heart in a wild frenzy. I missed absolutely everything about her.

So when I saw her standing in the living room entrance, I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Her eyes locked with mine and the pain intensified. I quickly looked away from her so she wouldn't see that traitorous tear that slipped past my eyelids.

The pain was so unbearable and it made breathing difficult.

Then I felt her soft hand caressing my cheek. I closed my eyes and savored her touch. Because I knew this would be the last time I would ever feel her touch again.

"I'm so sorry Emmie." She whispered.

I finally looked at her and she seemed to be in pain as well. Though I had no clue as to why she was feeling bad. Was she regretting what happened between her and Morgan? For some reason I was hoping she did. But I knew better than to let my hopes soar high.

"Scar," I said as I looked into her eyes. "I forgive you. For everything. I'm willing to forgive and forget about this. Just tell me if you want to let this go and we'll get over it. All I want is for us to continue being together."

She hesitated for a moment. Her mouth opened and closed as she looked for the correct words to tell me. I knew by her simple gestures that she was about to give me a no.

So I braced myself for her next words.

"Emerald I...we...I love Morgan. I really liked you as well and I'm terribly sorry about all of this but I can't continue being with you. Not now, when I have began to feel something towards someone else." She softly said.

Out of everything I was expecting, it definitely wasn't that. She loves Morgan? I was stunned. She was absolutely and completely over me. There was no doubt in her mind about that.

It took everything within me not to break down crying right here in front of her. Was it possible for her to actually be in love with Morgan. I mean, it was pretty obvious. She was choosing my ex best friend over me. Me; her girlfriend and future wife. Her ex future wife to be exact.

"I understand." I said. I was extremely happy that I was able to say this without my voice shaking. "What are we going to do about the baby? I mean, we're not dating anymore and we're calling the wedding off but I still want to be a part of my baby's life."

I really wanted to be involved in the child's life. I didn't care about all of the odds, I wanted my baby in my life. I wanted to be able to see him or her and be able to hold them in my arms. I wanted to teach them how to ride a bicycle and I wanted to comfort them whenever they had a nightmare. I wanted to be there for them just like my mother had been there for me.

"You can be a part of their life. I would never take that away from you. You can still come to my doctors appointments if you would like."

I nodded. I was at least happy that I would still be allowed in the baby's life. Nothing could compare to this right now. The happiness I felt in knowing that my baby would still be mine.

That was the only reason why I couldn't hate Scarlett. Yes, there were a few downhills in our relationship but I didn't hate her. I didn't consider her a mistake. I didn't even regret meeting her because if I did, there was a huge possibility that Ivette wouldn't even be here.

And that right there was my happiness.

I still remember the anxiety I had felt while Scarlett gave birth to her. I had never felt so nervous in my life! I also remember the moment I took Ivette in my arms. All the emotions that had overtook my body and my senses.

If there was something that really infuriated me though, it would have to be how Scarlett abandoned Ivette almost as soon as she was born.

In all of Ivette's eight years, not once has Scarlett called her. Not once has she attended her birthday parties or sent her a gift on Christmas.

She simply dropped a three month old Ivette off at my house while she took a vacation with Morgan. I was ecstatic to keep Ivette with me for more than a few days. But Scarlett never came back. She didn't call or even explain her reasons. She simply left and we pretty much lost contact after that. I never tried contacting her or tracking her down. Honestly, I didn't care about her anymore. She could continue to f-ck the life out of Morgan for all I cared! I was completely over her and I had no interest in her anymore.

The only thing that Ivette had taken from Scarlett was her dirty blonde hair and her full lips. Her eyes were exactly like mine.

Ivette was a serious beauty and I absolutely loved her.

Yes, maybe Scarlett and I made some bad decisions during our time together but I wouldn't allow this to affect Ivette.

Because I made myself a promise since the day Ivette was born, and that was to raise my child right. To provide everything she needed and to love her unconditionally.

And that was all I ever did.

My eight year old daughter adored me and I was touched by this. It was extremely flattering to know your child looked up to you. Scarlett had absolutely no idea on what she had missed out on.

I had done a good job by raising Ivette the past eight years, and I hoped I would be able to do it for many more years. But my mother was right. Ivette needed two parental figures in her life. And I was ready to have a serious relationship with someone.

Yet, it was easier said than done.

I didn't feel attracted to most women. I was afraid of being hurt, used and played. So I never actually paid any mind to the women that chased after me. I had more one night stands than I did relationships. Because it was easier to have a girl for a night than someone to love and risk me not being corresponded.

But there was one woman I had began to think about. She was married, though I was sure something wasn't right with her marriage.

I stopped myself from over thinking this. Candice was married and I had to stop myself from thinking there was a chance between us. Because clearly there wasn't.

All I wanted was to run into her again. If I had to risk coffee stains over my blouse then I would. Because her dimpled smile was definitely worth it. I was beginning to give this woman space in my mind that I had never given to anyone else.

And I liked it.

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