Reminiscing

Breaking Nancy's Heart

Emerald's POV~

I was happy.

I was so happy with Candice that I never even brought up the fact that I had seen her over at Nancy's the day after she left the Muhatti dinner.

After seeing her with Nancy and the kid, my bitter ass had gone home and thrown a tantrum because I felt as if she was already choosing this woman over me.

To be very honest, I confused myself.

I was always having a debate between my heart and my brain.

My heart told me that I liked this person and we could actually work something out. My brain told me that this wasn't right, that Candice didn't know what she wanted and she was just stringing me along. It also reminded me constantly that it was a marriage I had come in between of.

Then there was the whole fact that this woman probably spent a night with her ex and God only knows what had happened between them.

I didn't want to find out.

I don't know what was keeping me from asking her, or why I was keeping it to myself other than letting her know that I knew.

Maybe I was too happy with the way that things seemed to be working out between us and I didn't want to ruin that.

But I never brought it up.

Over the course of one week we had talked over some things regarding our relationship. She did mention the fact that my mother had shared some words with her and that had been the reason she left. 

I then made it clear to her that if a relationship between us was going to work then we had to focus on us and not let external factors come in between that. We had to try and work around them.

She had only agreed and ended the conversation with a kiss.

Why was it that the moment after I had ran into Candice I couldn't stop thinking about her and how much I desired to be with her, but after I got the opportunity to actually date her I fucked up time and time again?

If it wasn't me flirting with someone then it was my attitude towards her.

She was tired.

I could see that.

She was tired of not getting the same love she's been out here giving.

Nancy had once been her everything. Her one and only. She had married this woman and stuck by her through thick and thin. She got abused physically and neglected emotionally. She had been willing to be this woman's source of support despite the difficulties she was put through. Because she loved her. Even if Nancy didn't deserve it, Candice was selfless enough to still be by her side.

I understand that people change and that Nancy probably did grow out to be a good person after her dark moments. I didn't know her story but I do know that she didn't treat Candice the way that she deserved.

She had an opportunity and blew it.

Now it was my turn.

I was never fully invested since the beginning either. It was always a push and pull with Candice. I wanted to love her but I kept telling myself that it was wrong. I wanted to feel bad about what I was doing yet I truly didn't. This confused me and made me hold back on her.

Not anymore.

This past week had consisted of me making time for this woman in between meetings, traveling and Ivette.

I was trying to find a balance.

Getting accustomed to her and setting her as a priority in my life. Because that's what she would eventually become.