Tainted

Kabanata 45

KABANATA 45 — Countless Times

Hinintay ako ni Andrew na makapag-ayos ng sarili. He said that my brother left last night to take care of his bar and he's not home yet until then. Nag-text na lamang ako kay kuya na sinasabing kasama ko na si Andrew at kung saan kami pupunta.

Zac:

Tell Andrew to be good. Take care. Please... please do not freak out again, Zandra.

Nabasa ko ang reply niya at wala akong nagawa kundi mapangiti. I am still blessed with people who only want what's best for me. Kahit na pinagkaitan ako ng mga ganitong tao noong bata pa ako.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto at sa living room ay naghihintay na sa akin si Andrew. I walked up to him and he stood to approach me.

"Ready?" he asked with concern in his voice.

"Not sure. Pero gagawin ko na talaga ito," usal ko.

He nodded his head. Minutes later, we were already riding his car and he was driving our way to Bulacan.

"Binasa mo ba 'yong mga binigay kong impormasyon tungkol kay..." he trailed off. "Tungkol sa nakaraan mo?" pagbabago niya sa sasabihing alam ko naman kung ano.

Tumango ako. "Yes, I've read it."

"Everything?" tanong niya.

Agad ko siyang binalingan. Mataman ang tingin ko sa kanya. Umiling ako. "Aside from the folder containing the articles," utas ko. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng hiya. Pero matibay pa rin ang loob ko na huwag nang basahin ang tungkol doon kung nais kong maging matino hanggang matapos ang araw na ito.

He gazes at me and then back at the road. "I'd thought of that," aniya.

Kumunot ang noo ko.

"I brought my own copy. You should have read that, Zandra," aniyang medyo may panghihinayang sa boses.

Tinagilid ko ang aking ulo. Andrew knew something I didn't know. May iba pa bang nakalagay sa folder na iyon?

"Alam ko na ang laman niyon. Tungkol lang ang lahat ng iyon sa akin at sa mga ginawa niya. From the time I ran outside our house, when my neighbors called the police to get him, when he was hit by a car... Then I was in the hospital for a surgery. My mother came and she wasn't able to get me sooner what what she expected 'coz I was detained in a children's welfare agency..."

Nagulat ako sa aking sarili nang matapos akong magsalita. I just stated everything that happened to me before without freaking out!

"Zandra." May sasabihin pa sana ako pero naunahan ako ni Andrew. "Please calm down, okay? Ayokong mapahamak ka na naman dahil dito," aniya.

Huminga ako ng malalim. I tried to relax myself by thinking that I am here with Andrew. He won't do anything to me. At isa pa, nakaya kong sabihin ang lahat ng iyon nang walang ibang iniisip para mapahamak ako.

"Hindi lahat ay tungkol doon. You might want to read it if I explained to you what else is inside that folder," aniya. "Sa tingin ko, kailangan mong basahin ang laman niyon. It will help you, I'm so sure of that. That's the closure you need..."

Nanahimik ako. Hindi ako sumagot sa sinabi niya. I heard him sighed in frustration. Pero batid kong hindi siya sa akin galit. He's just frustrated of the situation. Sino bang magugustuhan ang ganitong sitwasyon? If someone wants to be in my shoes, I would whole-heartedly exchange my life. Dahil ako, ayoko nito.

Nakarating kami sa patutunguhan nang walang nagsasalita sa aming dalawa. Maya't maya ay sumusulyap siya sa akin. Nang huminto ang sasakyan, saka lang niya binasag ang katahimikan.