Behind her MASK

Special Chapter - Her Letter

CONS' POV

'A letter to my beloved man...

I LOVE YOU. That was what I supposed to say to you before I leave but it hurts a lot to tell you those three words. In this letter, I have a lot of confessions to make. Ewan ko ba, ngayon pa ako naduwag but please just let me do this.

I am Ynna Belamie Dwight in the eyes of everyone but the truth is I AM NOT. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung sino ba ang totoong ako. Ako ba si Ynna na nakangiti at nagtatapang-tapangan sa harag ng ibang tao o ako ba si Ella na nakamaskara?

Mga bata pa lang tayo I always want to be top because I want to make my mom proud, papansin kungbaga. Sa mata kasi niya si ate ang magaling, maganda, at mabait. Yun bang parang kulang na lang isigaw niya sa mukha ko na I should've not existed in this world. Nabuo ang galit, selos, at insecurities sa puso ko. Natuto akong magbulakbol and to tell you honestly, I am into gangs. Kahit ngayong college na tayo I've got into gang fights. Wala kang makitang pasa o sugat kasi I do concealers. Galing no? Kaya kong itago lahat.

Nakalaban ko nga si Migs eh. Ask him about Masca of Phantom Gang and tell him na ako yun, send my regards to Wilbur of Six Gum Gang. Aside from being a gangster, isa rin akong agent. Remember nung makita mo akong may hawak na baril? Trabaho ko yun. At sa trabaho kong yun, marami na akong napatay. I am an agent of FBI na isang ahensya against drugs. Natatakot ka na ba sa akin? Hahaha, siguro nga pero ayoko nang maglihim pa. This is me.

Nung gabing nakita mo akong nakikipagputukan at nung date natin na akala mo boyfriend ko yung lalaki, I was really guarding you dahil ikaw dng puntirya nila. They want me down so as my beloved ones. Actually kababata natin ang nag-uutos sa kanila, it's Dominic Paolate.

Lately ko lang nalaman na I am not really a Dwight. Yes, ampon ako. I've just overheard my "parent's" conversation saying who really I am.

As much as I wanted to say kung sino ang totoong pamilya ko, I can't. It's not yet the right time.

I am Ynna who smiles eventhough I'm deeply in pain. I am Ella who shows braveness eventhough I have so many fears. And I am Masca who wears mask to hide all those memories. Mahirap man pero all these years nabuhay ako sa kasinungalingan. I live pretending.

Alam mo ba kung anong totoo sa akin? Yung pagmamahal ko sa'yo. Mahal kita Cons, bata pa lang tayo mahal na kita. Masakit para sakin nung naging kayo ni Sharlene. Patago akong umiiyak kapag nakikita ko kayong masaya. Kaya sobrang saya ko nung ako naman ang minahal mo.

I planned our breakup. Bilang si Ella, inutusan ko si Sharlene to break us. Ako pa rin yung dahilan kung bakit aalis akong umiiyak ngayon. Ito ang tama. Ayokong paasahin ka. Mahal kita kaya ko ito ginagawa.

I want to be selfless. I want to set you free. Don't stop yourself to love other woman. Babalik ako pero I don't know when. I don't want you to live waiting for me in vain. Kung magkikita man tayong muli, we'll see what will happen next. Maaaring nakalimutan mo na ako sa panahong yun o baka naman hindi. You see, I do believe in destiny. If we are destined then it is.

AALIS MAN AKO BUT IT'S NOT YET GOODBYE.

I LOVE YOU BABE.

SEE YOU.

- Ynna/Ella/Masca